Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Three Year Old Drunk

Before I get back to my mother, I think I'm going to go into a bit of an intermission, something to laugh about to give myself a few minutes till I get into the heavy stuff...

(You'll notice I kinda bounce from thing to thing. I just look down my 140 headings and whatever hits me that day I write on.. When I turn this into a book I'll catogorize all of it I'm sure)

Ok, back to the story...

When we lived back East I remember one year my parents brought all of us kids to my dads work party. (He must have been nuts, or maybe he didn't want to pay for a babysitter; and besides... there was all that FREE FOOD!!!. Kill two birds with one stone!:p) My parents were SO cheap.

We all piled into their old car, and off we went.

It must have looked awfully strange to see my parents, and 4 girls getting out of the car.(One of my sisters may have been in my mothers arms at that time)  I don't remember seeing any kids with anyone, but then again, I was 3.

My parents were so busy mingling (Mingling, or eating:p) that they didn't see me wander off. That party was a wonderous place...lots of balloons, tables full of food...Which I helped myself to. Nobody stopped me, which made me all the bolder.

I remember seeing a table with a BIG bowl. A big SHINY bowl. Full of something to drink. Not only something to drink, but there was STUFF floating in it! Little ROUND balls.

Hey...If I poked them, they bounced right back UP! I could even GRAB them! When I was at home, we played with balls all the time. These were MINI balls! Every time I poked them, they came BACK UP!

So, I did what any toddler would.

I grabbed it  and stuck it in my mouth.

I'm sure I didn't do this once. Poked another one...and popped it in my mouth.What a GREAT GAME!

I did this till all that was left in the bowl was what was left of the alcohol that wasn't in the cantalope balls.

I'm sure the adults around me were having a good time watching the toddler get drunk.
Hey, I wasn't THEIR  kid.::p

The next thing I remember, I was in the parking lot running around in around in circles. And getting dizzy.

My embarrassed parents retrieved me, stuck me in t he car, got everyone else and we were off. On the way home. I remember looking out the back window until it hit me... Anyone who's been drunk would know what happened next. I don't remember if I made it out of the car in time, but I got SICK. A three year old having a hangover.:p

I never touched alcohol again.


  1. I feel badly for you! I, being even at 46 still naive and thank you for explaining that they were cantaloupe balls. I would have been devastated for you and scooped you up in my arms. I was 16 when I had my first bout with alcohol. My Mom gave me 'free reign' at the "Screwdrivers" and I ended up vomiting a LOT into the bathtub. I had a passion for onion dip during this party and didn't know after my Mom scolded me for messing up her tub. How was I to know that drunk people have to throw up in a toilet? UGH! I didn't get a hangover and this didn't stop me from drinking, but it did open my eyes to no compassion for dear old witch-ass Mom, ha!

  2. oooo...I bet onion soup mix and alcohol don't mix well when taken liberally..haha;) You poor thing. throwing up AND beinbg scolded. You didn't know any better. Your mom sounds like shes something else! Ug.