Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Road Less Traveled..My Nightmare Of a Month,and Miracles...

The Beginning of my Nightmare...

(My thoughts are still in Flux, so expect updates... Yes its already a novel.)

I was sitting, lost in my thoughts in the last class in church, what we call Relief society. (A class of all the women in our ward) I had heard in the first meeting of the day, a talk on Truth and standing up for it, and was pondering those thoughts.

Today, I was meeting with the Bishop and Stake President because a church member decided to tell my Bishop about my writing on Facebook my feelings on women and the Priesthood.

That was the beginning of the nightmare.

I thought everything was ok as my bishop had interviewed me once and said that He didn't see a problem "as he did not see anything I did was apostate and that he didn't know if  women having the Priesthood would ever happen or if it wouldn't, but through revelation".

I was relieved I didn't have to deal with it anymore and that I could just go to church and be left alone to Worship without being harassed.

Then I got asked by the Bishop to meet again regarding the 2nd temple recommend question… "Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or *individual* whose teachings or *practices* are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?"

That question, one that was written up in the time that there were members who were a part of unions or masons as well as Mormons and Polygamy…that is what that question had to do with then, if I understand it correctly.

Everyone else I have talked to and especially, I have asked the Ordain Woman organization if anyone has specifically lost their temple recommend over being involved with Ordain Women.

No one had.

No one person in my church has had their temple recommend taken away over being involved with Ordain women…even as far up as Utah… but I was told mine would be taken by my Bishop (I will not disclose his name here)  if I answered yes to this second Temple recommend question.

I am worthy in every other way to go to the Temple, but I believe that women should hold the Priesthood and I am a part of a group "Ordain Women" who have been nothing but respectful in their cause, and the group themselves tell us to be nothing BUT respectful.

I have felt nothing but immense love and support from these women. These women even asked me if they could fast for me on the day I was to have this interview asking me that second question.

The interesting thing is, amazing things, even surprising things have happened to me leading up to this meeting. God was giving me a message, and letting me know in NO uncertain terms, that he was with me, just as he always has been.

 I am NOT alone. I never was.

For a month now, I have had interviews with my Bishop. It had literally given me severe, horrible stomachaches, making me wonder if an ulcer is next.

I just want to be left alone to worship.

Again…The first interview, seemingly, at least to me, went well. I really felt we had a good talk on my feelings and that we understood each other. Maybe not completely agreed, but understood.

I thought.

Then a week or two later he mentioned that he wanted to meet with me over the 2nd temple question (The one above ")

Then almost 2 weeks went by, with my getting anxious wondering why I hadn't met with him yet, so just so he would know I wasn't trying to avoid him, I went to his office and asked him if he still wanted to meet and talk. He said yes…So we agreed that we would meet at my house.

I had really thought about this 2nd temple worthiness question… pertaining to this question (Remember, again, the question was started with Polygamy, Masons and unions in mind, with the Masons and unions being changed to not hurt members for being involved (I read up on it) though of course Polygamy is not ok…

If you look at it, my best friend, who is a 70 year old Atheist/Agnostic could be considered that, heck, if your married to a non-member, it could be considered that, hell, if you have a husband or friend who looks at porn,(I don't look at it and am not into it but if someone's not Mormon, it kinda fits into the FREE AGENCY side of things that Mormons are supposedly so fervently for (I know I am like that at least) then that is none of my business! I know 2 friends at least who are into porn, as they have told me they are, but does that make me unworthy, because I know them and love them? I don't think so!  If you have a friend who drinks coffee, A friend who is of ANY other religion, you could answer yes. In my mind the very question makes it so you avoid non- members like the plague. How is that right?  I certainly don't believe I should avoid ANYONE just because they have different beliefs than me, and I NEVER will!

Some of my best friends aren't Mormon.

Gay, Straight, lesbian, a 70 year old Atheist friend-Who is a VERY good friend by the way! Am I going to be asked to give her up too? She is one of my most treasured friends.  I would rather be like Jesus than the pretended pious people who killed him. He hung out with the sinners, the people who were HUMBLE, the salt of the earth.

And he LOVED them.

This little Ordain Women group, they have been nothing but respectful, are NOT against the church, they say all kinds of things on the site but you can pick and choose what you want to believe yourself…they are not forcing it down my throat…

My 70 year old friend fits the description, and she is no shrinking violet, but don't we ALL know people who have different beliefs that we affiliate with? Shouldn't that be ok???

Precurser to the Meeting.

That week before the meeting with the Bishop I went to the Temple.

Especially when things are hard and I need inspiration. I go there to BEG for peace.

I was sitting in what we call the Celestial room after what we call a session. It's beautiful. All white, a big chandelier in the middle…beautiful tables and couches, all white…

But...I had sat through the session in tears...begging, PLEADING even for divine guidance and to know he was there.

I grabbed the Scriptures, sat down and said a long, heartfelt prayer pleading for help, pleading and trying not to cry, asking for knowledge… that I would know what I need to do.

Then I do what I always do when I am there.

I close my eyes, I open the scriptures to wherever they fall, and see if God has a message for me.

I closed my eyes, opened them, and right in front of my eyes was the word "Progress" That made me catch my breath.

On the other side of that was the word "Profanity".

Now THAT almost made me laugh out loud.

Right after the Bishop called to make sure on the second appointment, I was swearing like a sailor.

I guess God wants me to curb my mouth.

That also proves that God has a sense of humor.

Thank you God. ;p

Second meeting with the Bishop

We met at my house and as usual, he seemed pleasant, but very polite.

We went over the thoughts he and I both had, me talking about how Joseph Smith himself had given the Priesthood to women, and that from what I understood, that had been taken away in the 1800s (It started by the Relief Society that had been run by women starting out, getting disbanded, then to turning Relief Society over to men being over the women in it by Brigham Young: then later Joseph F Smith had completely taken the Priesthood  away from women , as women used to bless each other… if I am understanding it right. It is another parallel to my African American brothers, as the Priesthood was also unfairly  taken away from my African American brothers  by Brigham young ) which meant to me that the Ordain Women Group was NOT going against the church because our FOUNDER of the religion himself ordained his wife Emma as a Priestess, (If that is true- and from what I read and studied, it IS in Mormon History) but the Bishop told me that what modern Prophets teach is what matters now, Not Joseph Smith, which hits me as odd because our whole religion is based off of Joseph Smiths first vision… and the Ordain Women group is not going against the church in my mind…are they teaching against the church?

No… they are just asking our Prophet to pray about it.

 I told Bishop I didn't know how to answer that second question because as of right now they don't teach women's ordination…By now I was getting angry.

So he asked for my Temple recommend, and I told him I wanted to talk to the Stake President (One up from him) it was getting later and later, so we parted ways and he said we would meet the next week. BY now I was completely drained and just exhausted, feeling completely misunderstood.

Lesson in a Christmas tree

We put our Christmas tree up the 1st week of November... I was sitting on our couch thinking about what had just happened and how wronged I felt, pleading for help...I was looking at the tree when something told me pay attention.. there is a lesson in your tree... when it hit me... that tree gets taken down every year, yet every year its built back up to where it is something beautiful again... Then the thought came... people, circumstances and things can tear us down... our tree (really) is taken down every year... it gets torn down (or in mine or anyone's case, things can humble you) yet God builds you back up despite everything done to you and you become something beautiful again...

Kind of a cool message.

The next week was a whirlwind of thoughts, and things that happened that led me even MORE to believe that I needed to do what was right, to stand up for my convictions.

One of the women from Ordain women asked if she could fast for me that day of the interview and asked if she could set up a fast day with others. I said, of course, I need all the help I can get.

One day as I was standing in the kitchen, I was encompassed by such an enormous feeling of love that I started crying, and felt it so strongly I had to go upstairs bawling to tell my husband about it… I was still a mess, but that love carried me through to the next day, and the next.

I was looking up some things when Joe (My huz) and I came upon this

It was as if it was given to me to prepare for EVERYTHING that was talked about in the interview. I read about how a group of my African American Brothers and sisters in the church had a group they put together called the "Genesis group" a group put together to see what they needed to do and petition the church on African Americans and the Priesthood

Their Genesis group walked to the Church Office building to ask for the Priesthood.

This last October, my group, Ordain Women, walked to the Priesthood session to ask to be admitted.

The Genesis group had 300

My little Ordain Women group had almost 200 the first time they were at temple square.The second time there were over 500! (If you look on Facebook there are almost 1500…)

I started to see a Parallel.

They were told they were separate but equal

Women are told we are separate but equal.

They were told they were not valiant in the pre-existence (Our church believes we were in heaven before we came down here) and that they weren't spiritual enough (Which is RIDICULOUS- not spiritual enough? Not valiant enough??? Everything we teach goes against that!!!)

We women are told that we are TOO spiritual and don't need it.

That Sunday I was to meet with the Bishop, I woke up feeling completely peaceful, calm. Like I had been put inside this bubble and I was protected, like God just took his arms and wrapped them around me.

As I was sitting in the kitchen, something told me that my Temple recommend was something that would be required, (for now) as a sacrifice that I had to make at this moment. I shook that off, I didn't want to have to think about something I hold most dear being taken away unfairly…yet, I still felt peaceful.

That day of the interview (Sunday) I woke up and checked out an email from my Bishop, (later I found out that I was protected even from that email.)

 I read it, but it didn't register. Later on I was going to church when the thought came that I wanted to look at that email again…something told me, don't look at it until after your interviews are over, so I waited.

The talks and lesson that day was on Truth and standing up for Truth, not only that, but the closing song in Relief Society RIGHT before I was to go and have my interview with the Bishop was the song

"Do What Is Right" 

Only the first verse...

Do what is right; the day-dawn is breaking,
Hailing a future of freedom and light.
Angels above us are silent notes taking
Of ev'ry action; then do what is right!

Do what is right; let the consequence follow.
Battle for freedom in spirit and might;
And with stout hearts look ye forth till tomorrow.
God will protect you; then do what is right!

(I remembered the other verses after class, and my mouth just dropped.)

Do what is right; the shackles are falling.
Chains of the bondsmen no longer are bright;
Lightened by hope, soon they'll cease to be galling.
Truth goeth onward; then do what is right!

Do what is right; be faithful and fearless.
Onward, press onward, the goal is in sight.
Eyes that are wet now, ere long will be tearless.
Blessings await you in doing what's right!

Do what is right; let the consequence follow.
Battle for freedom in spirit and might;
And with stout hearts look ye forth till tomorrow.
God will protect you; then do what is right!

THAT was my answer. I had felt it, I THOUGHT knew it, now, without a doubt,

 I KNEW what I needed to do. I had to stand for the Truth.

I couldn't not deny it. I would NOT deny it. For my sisters, for my daughter, for their daughters, for generations of women who frankly, deserve better.

It's as if EVERY word in that song that day was written for me.

I knew what I needed to do before, but THIS cemented even more my resolve. THIS was a direct answer to WEEKS of praying.

I realize how much clarity I had when I could have been a mess. That in itself is a miracle. ESPECIALLY because in my past is a VERY abusive father who would cut me down and any time I talked to him, or anyone in my family… I was stressed out, I would freeze up and my mind would go blank (In my OLD LDS home life, my dad was the epitome of unrighteous dominion, beating me unconscious many times.) When I finally got out of the house I would be talking to people and when I realized they were actually LISTENING to me it would freak me out! THEN my mind would go blank again.

In this meeting, My REAL, LOVING heavenly father was telling me that MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE VALID…that I don't have to be afraid of my mind going blank anymore.

 That feeling, thankfully, is GONE...HE IS WITH ME.

I had an incredible peace the whole time I was talking to my Bishop and Stake President...(I had asked my Bishop for the Stake Presidents email and phone # numerous times and no matter how many times I asked, he wouldn't give it to me. I finally found a way to find it myself on and I got in touch with him. The Stake President said we could meet that same day.)

All that day of those meetings I just got a feeling I was being protected, like I was in a big bubble the whole time...I didn't get angry, and EVERYTHING that I said felt right and good.

I had a feeling the men I talked to were just doing the best with what they were given.

I went in to talk to the Bishop completely calm.

As I talked to the Bishop I let him know what I believed, I wasn't angry, and I took some of the thoughts I had found from Edward Kimballs document on the Priesthood, which were incredible and had many parallels to the Ordain women movement.

Suddenly it seemed the Bishop was getting VERY angry with me. He said. "I'm just going to be blunt with you…I think you are being deceived".(That I thought was more than a little over the top.) to which I said "I have my truth and you have yours"... Even though he was angry, I still felt calm which was amazing under the circumstances.

He asked for my Temple recommend right then, but it felt more like he demanded it and wasn't asking. I just thought he sounded very, VERY angry.

So, I gave it to him. (Sigh)

 Despite that, I know that I am not in the wrong, and that God knows I am worthy. I sincerely believe that EVERYTHING I have prayed and pleaded about I got answers to.

I am sad, but I feel my temple recommend is a sacrifice that is required for me for NOW. I don't know why, but through whatever I am required to do, I have been shown in more ways that I am saying here that God IS with me.

I hope the decision the Bishop made to take away my temple recommend will be turned around at some point.

I have heard dozens upon dozens of people say that they got their temple recommends despite saying yes to the second question that I talked to him about as people are married to non LDS members, and have friends who have different beliefs… I DO believe the time will come when it is right and things will change. Whether it is in this life or the next I believe the day will come that women hold the Priesthood

( To find out why I believe so strongly read here)

 I am at peace with what happened, though I hope in my lifetime things change. .

I am just amazed at the peacefulness of it all, despite all the anger towards me and accusations...

This last 3 weeks, it has felt like a witch hunt.

This whole time I have felt like I have been covered by his grace.... (I attribute a HUGE part of it to those who were fasting and praying for me that day…)

That wasn't the end of the appointments, as I had also made an appointment with the Stake President that day.

Right away when I walked in, I set down my highlighted papers on his desk, scooted the chair up to his desk and asked him if I could read what I had underlined…he said no, that he would rather we just talk. Then he started talking very fast, which surprised me, as at first he wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise until I think he realized that I wasn't purposefully trying to cause contention. Then he slowed down and we had a good meaningful conversation.  He told me that there isn't any way I could answer no to the 2nd temple recommend question...(Which I thought was quite unfair. As it is supposed to be up to ME how to answer the questions.)

With THAT said, he wasn't as hardcore with me as the Bishop. I felt more love coming from him despite what he was saying. He then said he has seen temple recommend questions change three times during his Presidency and that if someday that happened that I would have my recommend back.  I think he realized that I was sincerely asking questions, unlike when I talked to the Bishop, I just felt condemnation.

The Stake President also brought up, that in the Temple the women do the same things the men do THEMSELVES, (Which I won't go into) but he said they do it without the  Priesthood…which I have ALWAYS believed they have done under the authority of the Priesthood as I have seen it…It's all about this amazing spirit and power that comes from God.  (My husband has said that he believes that men don't HAVE the Priesthood, the Priesthood has them- I believe that, and I also believe that God is the one who decides who has the Priesthood, who is worthy, and who is NOT, despite men saying someone does or doesn't. GOD decides. )

To me, how could it NOT be the same thing? It IS the SAME!

But I didn't tell him that.

The Stake President then said to me "If the men had half the desire you have to hold the priesthood and bless others, as I can see you have, you wouldn't need to do this...

Which made me sad to think that he was missing the point…

I asked him then, what about single women, then he said something about separate but equal...and I said, (placing my hand on that stack of papers that I had highlighted and wanted to talk about)  that was the exact wording that was used when it came to my African Americans brothers and its being used with Women...

The other point is, that women who are in the military who are out in the middle of nowhere, at times without male Priesthood holders can't have a meeting, or take the Sacrament. How is that ok?

The thing above all that was amazing to me was that it was as if everything I had read was in preparation for this moment…it was as if it was given to me EXACTLY what I was supposed to say.

At the beginning of the day, something told me I needed to ask the Stake President and Bishop to give me a Blessing…At the end of the interview, I asked for a blessing from them, which in my church they do by laying their hands on a person's head and say what they believe God wants them to say…what I remember is that the Stake President told me that  "Heavenly father knows the desires of my heart".

Yes, he does.

Through everything, I REALLY felt, the ENTIRE time, that I had this sense of peace...that there was this shield over me, a protection if you will, and a feeling of intense love that told me everything is ok, that God loves me, and that it was going to take a sacrifice on my part when it came to this moment…

I don't know why, but sometimes in this life, sadly, there is no answer.

At least not for now.

I more I have thought about it, I believe the reason I am here, at THIS time is for THIS moment. This, above all else, is the stand I have been called to make.

I am at peace with it. (Sort Of) I'll admit, it is unfair, BUT I KNOW I am worthy, I know God knows I am worthy, and THAT is all that matters.

That I lost my Temple recommend for something as small as being involved in a group of like-minded, GOOD, peaceful women who have been nothing but a support to me feels like a slap in the face after everything I have been through in my life, (Those of you who read my blogs know what a miracle it literally is that I am alive, as my LDS home life was so violently abusive) but somehow, I am at peace..

I know that I am worthy in every other way to enter the Temple, and God knows it. I KNOW it.

With all that said something else miraculous happened that day.

 I was literally protected that day from an email that the Bishop sent...I had looked at it that morning but the amazing thing is what he was saying didn't's bizarre. On the way to church I thought about looking at it again…something told me; wait till after your interview. So I did.

 I realize that if I would have really "seen" it I may not have been so calm talking to him. I would have been FURIOUS! (It's funny though, I look at the email now and realize what he was saying, and it is hurtful...I wonder if he was angry when he sent it.)

This is the Email...

"You don't have to go any further than the name of the group "Ordain Women" to know that they promote (and therefore teach) a doctrine that is contrary to that accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A quick visit to their website confirms that. (I don't believe he looked close enough)

I think that you are spiritual danger. The danger is not from me--to the contrary, I am trying to keep you safe if you will allow it. "

I said that I had such a peace when I was talking to the Bishop and Stake President...I believe that protection I was talking about feeling… that "shield "I felt, was literal...

 The email basically tells me that I he fears I am in "danger of losing my SOUL".

 THAT is quite a  BIG statement and VERY judgmental.

 I think if I would have gone into his office to talk to him yesterday with that actually registering, I would have gone in there angry with more of a 'HOW DARE YOU!" attitude instead of with the peace I felt…I cannot even wrap my head around the idea that he may believe that I am actually losing my soul just for being involved with a bunch of good, honest women with the desire to bless others, a righteous desire that is no less righteous than a boy that is given the Priesthood by our church, when we women, some single, some who want to bless our children, husband, friends when they are hurting, only want to be of service.

I have women friends who I know are hurting, could we not give a blessing of comfort as they may not be as willing to tell a man they barely know about it? Why would I lose my soul for wanting to bless my hurting loved ones???

 If I would have realized that he was saying I may lose my soul for such a thing…

I may not have been as calm and collected as I was when I talked to him.

EVERYTHING, from the talks in Sacrament (On TRUTH!) to the music, ( The song we sang in Relief Society- "Do What Is Right" )  Tells me God is with me, even as I am writing this, I feel him with me still.
As I was writing this, The Road Less Traveled popped into my mind.

I think my whole life has been a search for Truth. A search for the good and right and honest road. It is not always a road that is an easy one.

It may be bumpy, I may fall and get scraped up and wear out the soles of my shoes (Not to be confused with my actual soul. HAHA! I ) My whole life I have been true to myself and those around me, despite what anyone thinks. The only thing that will EVER matter to me, is NOT what men or women think of me, but what GOD thinks of me. And his message of love to me is enough to carry me down ANY road to my final destination.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day! 
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

Robert Frost

Thursday, October 10, 2013



PLEASE READ IT. Your stomach will thank you;p

After ARE what you eat. It is THAT important.

If you read this and find it to be true for yourself, please, PLEASE spread this around. Information is POWER. Education is important. ESPECIALLY in this case. Future generations will thank you.

Power to the PEOPLE!

And just for good are the 64 countries that label GMO's;postID=5515466869373128153;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=0;src=postname

After November (When we vote in Washington (my home state) on I-522 I will be back to my regularly scheduled program;p lol

As we speak I am working on a blog about a absolutely devastating repressed memory and work with EMDR that completely changed my outlook. Amazing what a little machine can do. (Heres a CBS documentary showing how the brain is lit up in a PTSD person, (meaning that the brain is working too hard) and after EMDR what it looks like.)
 AMAZING therapy.

I think its the simple things that work that I think about it...thats even true with FOOD!

Lata gatas!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

GMO Facts and FICTION...What Is True, And What Is Not- So When You Vote On GMO Labeling You Can Make An Informed Decision

This is a quick recap for anyone who has been sent a pamphlet for the “No on I 522” AND the other states…as GMO labeling votes in many states are coming… 

No On I522 is sending out Pamphlets with misinformation…so I'm trying to get the word out.

1st LIE ON NO ON I 522- (To LABEL GMOS) "It would force farmers to implement costly new labels"

I KNOW as an old territory manager myself over grocery stores a few years back that ALL PACKAGING BY ANY COMPANY IS CHANGED AS OFTEN AS WE CHANGE OUR CLOTHES- they do it ALL THE is NORMAL. I used to stick the tags up for them ALL THE TIME. 

The only thing they would be doing is using a little ink or a sticker. It is NOT going to cost you more for food





4th LIE: The Campaign promoting I522 is funded by millions of $ from out of state corporations:

ACTUALLY...if you want to Call Organic Valley, Amy’s, Nature Valley and such Corporation’s...they are trying to de- personalize these HONEST makers of food who jump through hoops because there are so many govt. regulations to be organic that it costs THEM a lot of money to keep you informed...

Another interesting fact...the "source" Washington state Research Control" on the pamphlet we have all been sent here in Washington state is actually a group Monsanto (GMO) paid for "research"

And Theeeeeeeeeeeere you have it.

And I can’t help but add this womans story…This woman had a very sick child…UNTIL she changed to ORGANIC.

And just for a balanced view…here is a good link about pros and cons of GMOS- The cons start at page 7 A very informative read.

Monday, September 30, 2013

GMO LABELING PAMPHLETS GOING OUT ARE A LIE!! WASHINGTON VOTERS- READ, SEE WHAT YOU THINK, and REPOST! The internet is FREE BABY...WE can change the WORLD and don't have to pay a CENT:) All the other states, hell...the WORLD...get ready for the same... EDUCATE YOURSELF!


PLEASE...READ this...see what you think, and then repost! EVERY voter (I am thinking because everyone I talked to got one) NEEDS TO SEE THIS! Don't let them DUPE US like they did in California...if everyone posts this we can get the word out and change everything because ONLINE IS FREE BABY!! THEY CAN'T STOP US!!

    This is as important and simple as...the FOOD that's going into your body.
    I know I for one want to know what I am putting into it.
    I guess I should stop talking in caps. ;p


    Monday, September 16, 2013

    Why I Believe Women Of Every Faith Should Have The Priesthood

    Three weeks ago I was sitting in a Gospel Principles class (Its on the basics in my that I had been asked to teach by a friend who was out of town.

     I found it strange that just a few weeks ago they had been talking about the priesthood and how men held it, and women didn't. All the men in the room nodding in agreement and more women than not were sitting, heads down, quiet.

     A few women and I shared knowing glances, as there are 2 or three that I have shared my story with,( I believe my big ol eye in the sky-you know...God has given me moments of clarity and more than enough inspirational people in my life)

     There are women who long to give of themselves in service, blessing others through that gift given by God. That "mantle" that says its ok for women, unashamed and without fear to lay their hands on another's head to bless them.

    To be able to bless their own children, to call down that power of God to help others in need. Not for themselves, but for those they love. And people say feminists who want the priesthood want power? That power has nothing to do with us.

     And still, as I write this I can hear what some will say about this...


     Weeks later, after the lesson on the Priesthood there I was giving a lesson in the same classroom on fasting.

     I found it interesting because a few days prior I had found out that "Ordain Women" that I have a profile on was having a day of fasting. Their hope was that the brethren of our (LDS) church would prayerfully consider women in the church holding the Priesthood.

    This is not just in my church, but all over the world.

    Catholic, Moslem. Any church who does not allow women to hold the Priesthood and in Moslems case, to allow them to pray at the wall in Jerusalem

    There was a webinar ( )  at the end of the day of fasting...  And at the end, they called on women of the past to help us in our cause, to me it was awe inspiring, and it gave me chills to think of our forbearers, those who came before us.

     With all of this going on, I had to stay silent. (People who know me KNOW that that for me it is like yanking out my nails with pliers...not that I've ever done that before but...OUCH!)

    The only thing I could say, in my own church, is that "I found it significant that today I was teaching a lesson on fasting when I was fasting with thousands upon thousands of all faiths for something(The Priesthood) the next day which I said I wouldn't  go into. (Sigh)

    What's sad to me is if I would have, the class would have erupted in all kinds of disarray and I would have been in serious trouble, so, I kept my mouth shut because its not doctrine, and in church there is no discussion about it. SO it would have been "inappropriate". (Double sigh)

     Someone (a guy) after class who was in the class I taught was talking to me and I mentioned that what I was fasting about the next day was for Ordaining women...he said he didn't agree and I said to each his own...THEN he cracked some joke talking about "We should have never allowed women's suffrage."

     I asked him "what is "Women's suffrage"  just to see what his reaction would be and he blurted out some crass comment that if "I didn't understand what it was  that there was no point cracking the joke" or if its ok to joke about women not having something as simple as the right to vote... even if he was joking it was in poor taste...)

    With that said, Joseph Smith, the founder of our church didn't think that it was inappropriate for women to hold the Priesthood. Here is what he said, and what happened when he talked to the women of the Relief Society

    On 17 March 1842, Joseph Smith  first formally organized Latter-day Saint women in a group with distinct responsibilities and authority. At JS’s invitation, twenty women assembled in the large room above his dry goods store in Nauvoo, Illinois, to be organized, as one woman recalled his description, “under the priesthood after the pattern of the priesthood” (Sarah M. Kimball, “Auto-biography,” Woman’s Exponent, 1 Sept. 1883, 51). Priesthood quorums—units of men assembled according to priesthood office and usually headed by a president and two counselors—had been organized previously. The women assembled on 17 March elected JS’s wife Emma Hale Smith president, and she selected two counselors; a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles ordained or set apart the three-member presidency to their new callings or offices. These were the first ecclesiastical positions in the church for women.

    Nauvoo Relief Society Minute Book
    Top of Form

     of 124

     30 March 1842 • Wednesday
    Minutes of the Proceedings
    of the
    Third Meeting of the Society
    Lodge Room March 30th 1842.

    Joseph Smith said that...
    "The Society should move according to the  ancient Priesthood, hence there should be a select Society  separate from all the evils of the world, choice, virtuous  and holy— He said he was going to make of this Society a  kingdom of priests as in Enoch’s day— as in Pauls day."

    This goes even further. ( Don't pay attention to the miss-spelling...its not me...I swear:p)

    Mormon Women Have Had the Priesthood Since 1843
    D. Michael Quinn

    In this link it talks specifically about the women who were ordained to the Priesthood in Joseph Smiths time. (At the bottom of the link and with the historical things written here, it talks about where the evidence was  found, and also talks about things being omitted. I won't say whether I agree with those or not because honestly, I don't know in some of these cases what conspired, but I find it interesting.)

    (If this part seems too long, skip down to where I talk about my part and belief in all of this...but again, I find this interesting.) (I included the link so people can see it in its entirety and where they got the information- and where the #s come from so they can look it up... LONG but TOTALLY worth reading)

    "Mormon women did not request priesthood—Joseph Smith would soon confer it on them as part of the restoration of the gospel. Joseph clearly intended that Mormon women in 1842 understand their healings were to be “gifts of the priesthood,” not simply ministrations of faith.11Presiding Patriarch Hyrum Smith, an original member of the Holy Order, blessed Leonora Cannon Taylor: “You shall be blesst [sic] with your portion [367] of the Priesthood which belongeth to you, that you may be set apart for your Anointing and your induement [endowment].”14

    The men who received the Holy Order endowment in 1842 did not constitute a fully organized “quorum” until a woman was initiated in 1843. At 7 p.m. on 28 September 1843, Joseph Smith was “by common consent and unanimous voice chosen president of the Quorum” by eleven other previously endowed men. Next, Emma Hale Smith became the first woman to receive priesthood and its fullness.17 Willard Richards had referred to the men as “the quorum” in their prayer meeting of 11 September 1843, but Joseph did not officially become the Anointed Quorum’s president until the day he admitted the quorum’s first woman.18

    As newly sustained president of the Anointed Quorum, Joseph administered the initiatory ordinances and priesthood endowment to his wife in an upper room of the Nauvoo Mansion.19 The record of “Meetings of the Anointed Quorum” shows that at this same meeting, Joseph and Emma also became the first couple to receive the “second anointing” or “fullness of the priesthood.” By this ceremony they were each “anointed & ordained to the highest & holiest order of the priesthood.”20 Later church historians in Utah deleted Emma’s name from the 1843 description of the prophet’s “second Anointing of the Highest & Holiest order.”21

    Thus Emma Smith began the fulfillment of the prophet’s promise to make the Relief Society “a kingdom of priests.” She was anointed to become a “queen and priestess” in the initiatory ordinance of the endowment and was ordained to the fulness of those offices by the second anointing.26 First counselor Sidney Rigdon later commented on this event: “Emma was the one to whom the female priesthood was first given.”27

    A common misunderstanding claims that women receive priesthood only through temple marriage or through the second anointing—both of which a husband and wife must receive together.28 However, such was not the view expressed by many of the Anointed Quorum’s original members, who learned about the endowment directly from Joseph Smith.

    Brigham Young’s 1843 diary associated the endowment of women with receiving priesthood. On 29 October 1843, for example, he noted that Thirza Cahoon, Lois Cutler, and Phebe Woodworth were “taken into the order of the priesthood.” That was the day those three women individually received their endowment. They did not join with their husbands to receive the second anointing until 12 and 15 November 1843, respectively. When his own wife received the endowment on 1 November 1843, Brigham Young wrote: “Mary A. Young admitted in to the hiest [highest] orderer [order of] Preasthood [sic].” She did not receive the second anointing with him until three weeks later.29

    In February 1844 stake patriarch John Smith told an LDS woman that she had a right to priesthood from her birth. “Thou art of the blood of Abraham thru the Loins of Manasseh & lawful heir to the Priesthood,” he said to Louisa C. Jackson. She was not among the elite Mormon women who received the endowment before the opening of the Nauvoo temple in December 1845.33 Referring to her eventual sealing and second anointing, the patriarch added that this woman “shall possess it [priesthood] in common with thy companion.” Louisa’s blessing showed that any Mormon woman had a birthright to priesthood which depended on no man.34

    On 28 April 1842 the prophet returned to this subject. He told [366] the women that “the keys of the kingdom are about to be given to them that they may be able to detect everything false, as well as to the Elders.”7 The keys “to detect everything false” referred to the signs and tokens used in the “true order of prayer,” still practiced in LDS temples.8 Then Joseph Smith said, “I now turn the key to you in the name of God, and this society shall rejoice, and knowledge and intelligence shall flow down from this time …”9 For nineteenth-century LDS women, Joseph’s words were prophecy and inspiration to advance spiritually, intellectually, socially, professionally, and politically.10"

    All I know is what women do in the temple as I go there and it is after the manner of the Priesthood...with women doing everything the men do.

    BUT...I had no idea about any of this (Other than the temple) until I came upon a paper written by Hannah Wheelwright

    "Motherhood is not women's complementary role to men's priesthood. Motherhood is complementary to men's fatherhood. If priesthood was truly the counterpart to motherhood, infertile men would be denied it, and all men would lose it when they hit menopause. I hope the silliness of this comparison highlights how bizarre it is to limit someone's ability to serve based solely on their ability to perform a specific physical activity that not all people have the opportunity to do. An aversion to "more meetings" and a personal apathy towards holding the power to act in the name of Almighty God are not sufficient for denying half of God's children this authority and the resulting institutional ability to have a seat at the table.

    I cling to the hope that Mormon women will one day not merely be held up on a pedestal and protected, but will be side by side with their male counterparts, will be empowered to speak up for their own concerns, will be stewards over adult groups of mixed genders, and will demonstrate once and for all that there is no more sin in a woman with a desperate, righteous, genuine desire to bless those around her than there is in a 12-year-old boy with that same desire.

    In the LDS Church History Department's Joseph Smith Papers project, Hannah read Joseph's stunning declaration recorded by a scribe that "the Society should move according to the ancient Priesthood... [Joseph Smith] said he was going to make of this Society a kingdom of priests as in Enoch's day, as in Paul's day." I could not deny that reading original source documents suggested to me that Joseph Smith had a much more expansive and empowering vision for the women of the church than we acknowledge now."

    Why are we as a church going backward instead of forward?

    Growing up I didn't question women not having the priesthood, I didn't even think about it.

    Until I got older.

    I was a young single woman going to some really fun activities at my church, with a very perceptive bishop. ( I'm not sure if I will use the other word I'm thinking yet, but you'll get the gist of it in a second)

     My Bishop took me aside all by myself one day at a devotional, out of earshot of everyone else.

     As we were sitting on the back deck of the house talking he said to me...

    "You are going to have to be VERY careful who you marry. If you marry the wrong man you will have three kids, get divorced, and end up out of the church for a while."

    I thought this was very strange advice, so I said..."Okkkayyyy" and  just didn't really think about it much, other than I thought it was odd.

    Weeks later we had an activity outside, And then we went in to have a  devotional. I don't think I was paying attention much at first, until my Bishop (The same one as above) suddenly stopped what he was talking about, paused for a moment, and said "Some day women will have the priesthood". I perked right up, but I couldn't believe my ears. A football player I knew raised his hand and said "You mean through the men, right"? he said "No, One day women will hold the Priesthood". I held on to that thought thinking that it was interesting, but went about my life as usual.

    I had been hanging out with a guy at the church who had told me that I had to go to his ward ( we are divided up depending which area we live, and that depends on what time and building you go to) because where I lived was in the ward boundaries where this same bishop was. I was dating his best friend, and so I thought that his friend was trying to help.

    I found out later his friend was really no friend at all. He had been telling people that I was his girlfriend, even though I had no desire to be his girlfriend.

    I pawned him off on a friend, and they got married.

    They had 3 kids, he had multiple affairs, they got divorced, and she was out of the church for a while.

    Though I'm happy to say she re-married and is back in the church now:))
    Why am I telling you this?

    Because I believe that because that Bishop was right about one thing, I believe he may be right about the other.

    The older I have gotten, the more I have read, and the more I have learned about life, the more I believe this to be needed. That it is necessary, and just as with my  African American Brothers and sisters in my church, we both (African Americans AND women) should have ALWAYS had the Priesthood. (If you look at historical data in the church, both African American men AND women DID.

    (See link up above for women and the Priesthood)

    From what I have seen on Brigham Young,  and if it was true,  the only reason in my mind that it was taken away from African Americans was bigotry...plain and simple, no other excuse.

    But, I could be wrong.

    Thank God (really) that changed!

    Too many times I have seen women  who have had to stand idly by or have not said anything when it was too late at night for them to feel comfortable calling someone to come bless their child, spouse, friend...When they know in their hearts what God is calling them to say.

    There are women who have men in their house who are not worthy Priesthood holders, along with good single women with kids.

    Not long ago a friend of mine brought up the whole priesthood and women idea on facebook...not much later they lost a few friends on facebook over it.

    How sad that people would allow themselves to get so incensed over this!

    Talk about rocking the boat! I heard some very bigoted responses that I won't
    even post here.

    Why is it that it is such an inflammatory idea? After all, again... Joseph smith himself talked to the women in the church  when the Relief Society was put together (Women in my church go to Relief society where we talk about church and learn about different things, men to  Priesthood meeting, where they do the same.)

    I read on a profile on where One woman and her husbands daughter  passed away and her husband could give her a blessing knowing exactly what was in her heart but when her husband was having the most anguish in the middle of the night when he was hurting she  couldn't lay her hands on his head and give him a blessing knowing how exquisite his pain was and what was in his heart...

    What if women could do that?

    What if we could bless our sons and daughters? I I think that women have spiritual gifts and we should be able to help others with that priesthood mantle meant to help others.

    What if a mother and father BOTH could lay their hands on their Childs head and give their child a blessing?(That would also solve having to have 2 people there- There would already be!( Not in all cases, but some) That is a beautiful thought, I think. I think it would be an amazing gift that could bring a couple closer together working together, as it is all about helping their child.  

    What about single mothers?

    This is what one woman had to say about being raised by her single mother

    "As someone who was raised by a single mother I would love to have back to school blessings from my mother rather than some decent well intentioned stranger who came to our house once a month..."

    I have heard people say, "You have a phone, use it"! But when it is your loved one who is in pure agony, mentally Or physically, who better to give a blessing than those who know their loved ones best? Does a sleepy home teacher who knows you, a LITTLE really want to get out of bed, maybe some, yes, but most of us are too timid or don't want to bug anyone to call.(Yes, I know God can speak through these people as he knows us best, but with that said, would you rather have a sleepy home teacher who you feel guilty about waking, or someone in your family who may already be awake thinking about you?)

    What if you WERE single?

    Can you call anyone 24 /7? can you honestly say that if you aren't single or don't have a worthy priesthood member that you would feel comfortable? I know women who are extremely uncomfortable calling people in the middle of the night and honestly, people who would not like it if people were calling others in the middle of the night.

    One woman on my friends facebook said "You have a phone, don't you?" One woman responded..."As if its an easy thing...some of us don't have a husband...some of us may never...Just because you're well fed doesn't mean there aren't starving people in this world".

    And what about places where a huge percentage of church members are women? It HAS happened. One of the women in Ordain women served her mission in an area where 80% of members were women. What are they supposed to do? I have even heard of women in a ward with no one to administer the sacrament where they had to ask missionaries from another ward.

    Another woman in a ward ( A ward is a certain amount of people from an area going at a certain time to church) talked of not always being able to get the missionaries from another ward to administer the sacrament... there were times that for that week, they just weren't able to.

    If women were ordained, none of that need happen.

    The other thing that needs to be mentioned is the HUGE problem with pornography and other problems where men are unworthy and don't hold the priesthood. What do women do then?

    Again, giving women the Priesthood would solve that problem.

    I have heard men say "Well then, what are the men supposed to do then?"

    The answer is...



    There would just be more help instead of men having to make up for the difference.

    We would SHARE the load.

    I have seen where there just isn't enough help and it can be spread pretty thin.

    That would not be an issue if women held the Priesthood.

    Another thought I have held on to for YEARS...

    Years back before I was married, I made out a little bit, and though I was incredibly uncomfortable, I went to my bishop and started to talk to him a little bit about it because it is a required thing church wise. (  kind of like confession in other churches)

    He started to majorly grill me for the actual, specific details about it, and as I was talking to him something told me to STOP TALKING....

    I had this horrible, sinking feeling that my bishop was getting off on it, and actually getting turned on, and at that moment it felt confirmed to me that I needed to get out of there QUICK and stop talking.

    I believe that even in that moment, the holy spirit was talking to me, even then telling me to get out of there.

    I told the Bishop I would not give him any more details and got the hell outa dodge...

    Honestly, I believe that there should NEVER be a middle aged, older man, no matter how good or holy they are, sitting in a room alone with a young girl talking to her about sexual things. I think women should be talking to women, and men to men.

    I think women understand women's issues better, and men understand men's issues better. (As in have the men go to men, women to women) I don't know if that would mean women bishops or not, or if a Bishop and his wife would be partners in it and share responsibilities, but even having a wife outside, I believe,(as I have heard some do) is not enough.

    There are good men out there, but there is also temptation, and bad things HAVE happened before. (There have been things that have happened where teens have been taken advantage of, not just what teens share, but actual, physical acts where women have been taken advantage of. It DOES happen in our church.) I don't know if its taboo to talk about but I'm saying it, because I believe it needs to be considered. I have NEVER felt comfortable talking to a bishop about that, and I think that no man, Bishop or not should be exposed to that kind of temptation.

    I have never been about power. Only helping. And this just seems like a simple way to solve many problems.

    With that my chagrin (I won't say the thoughts I REALLY had about this because they are too dark and not worth sharing, honestly...)

    One Sunday my husband and I got a call from the Bishop...(Who is a very good man, by the way...) for my husband and I to meet him, for separate meetings

    RIGHT away, my inclination was that it was about my posts on Facebook about Women and the Priesthood.  

    So I wrote up exactly what my thoughts were on Women and the Priesthood so that when I met with him my thoughts would be clear and concessive, and I prayed for guidance...I thought...if that's what the call for a meeting was about...

    Meanwhile...As I watched the next day In the meeting after fasting for Women's Ordination One brave woman stood at the podium put there for people with questions and thoughts... (Its there in the link above)

    She said that she had shared with her Bishop her thoughts about women's ordination, and she had believed that what she shared with her Bishop would stay in that room.

    Till he humiliated her in front of the entire ward. And her entire Relief Society Presidency (Of which unless I don't understand it right) ended up leaving the church. Every one of them, but her. Going to church feeling ostracized, totally alone and YET, To her credit, SHE STILL WENT. This brave woman, standing there shaking and sobbing in front of the entire world and that microphone telling her story has raised the standard.

    God bless women like that!

    That woman is a tribute to Women everywhere.

    I have had many, MANY things in church done to me that were incredibly unfair, and yet I have never left either. (I'm too tenacious;p)

    So I added those thoughts I had about the woman above telling her Bishop and waited for the Sunday meeting with the Bishop.

    This is what I posted on my Facebook

    For all those women out there who are afraid to speak their mind on this issue...

     My meeting with the Bishop today was exactly what I thought it was about.

    Its ok with me (Well, sorta...rolling eyes that someone in my ward on Facebook felt they needed to talk to the bishop about what I am posting on Facebook about ordaining women because I have always been very open about how I feel (Though I have never and never will say any of this in church.)

    I am VERY open on my page about how I feel about a lot of things, especially things that I feel are important...someday I hope to see women holding the priesthood. I hope I see it before I die. I understand its not doctrine, even though Joseph Smith himself said to the Relief Society (As recorded In the Nauvoo Relief Society minutes March 30,1842) that "he was going to make of the Society a kingdom of priests as in Enoch's day, as in Paul's day"...

    I told the Bishop everything I felt and have said on here about the priesthood and I was not reprimanded. He didn't see that I should be as he did not see anything I did was apostate and that he didn't know if it would ever happen or if it wouldn't, but through revelation. (As he asked me all the questions he felt needed to...and he was very honest and fair about it...he did say to be careful what I posted on Facebook...(HAHA!)

    This is just proof to me that the Mormon Church is not going to throw the book at me for having my own thoughts and opinions, which SHOULD be ok and that I won't just get thrown under the bus for. I am valued and loved for who I am. After my experience, I can say that it was a very beautiful and spiritual experience talking through my thoughts with the Bishop.

    Thank Heavens for good men.

    As to whoever felt they had to tell the Bishop...If there is anyone in my ward who does not like what I am posting, its ok if you remove me from your friend list, I won't be offended. You don't have to look at what I post. Really. It might just be easier for you if you don't look at what I post. (I am talking to whoever did this...)This is my safe space, and I will keep posting what I feel. I always have. We all have to tend to our OWN salvation. Please attend to yours.

    Nothing about who I am has or will ever change. Period.

    I posted what I did on my facebook because I WANT the world to know that the Mormon church is a FAIR church to women, (although I do believe some things need to change) not excommunicating women for petty things. After all, all we want to do is serve.

    Lesson on the priesthood

    The week (The Sunday I was meeting with the Bishop) I found it funny that the lesson was on the Priesthood. If it was September 1st (I don't remember) that makes sense that it was that day because it was on the agenda...(I have the syllabus for lessons through Dec 29th...)

    One woman who is a friend of mine on Facebook had printed out some things on the priesthood and whether she realized it or not, she kept pointing with her pointer finger towards me as she read about the Priesthood...whether it was intentional or not, I don't know...but it made me wonder if she had been reading my thoughts on facebook and it was her way of blasting "Come To Jesus" at me:p... (With all that , I'm not mad, I just thought it was kind of funny...and a bit bizarre.

    As the lesson went on the teacher talked about how Gordon B Hinckley had said women didn't have the priesthood because the Lord made it that way...??? BUT the thoughts going through MY mind as she said that was that Gordon B Hinckley ALSO said women had "never asked for the Priesthood" in an interview, so what does that say? What WAS he saying?

    Now we are asking.

     I'm not going to try to tell God whether ordaining women will happen or not. But this I know...In a recent talk to BYU, someone said  that this whole womens ordination thing was a contemporary idea, that we need to think straight,(As if we are not???)my thoughts up above, it has been an issue for hundreds of years,I think we are pretty straight shooting... and then he talks about tampering with heavenly fathers plan, which I don't believe we can do anyway, I mean...he's GOD right?

    All I have noticed is that in a time when enough people worked through God ( I think God always works through people whether it's bringing some who had inspiration to do it or people bringing about change when there are enough people out there ready, I think God works with them (I think that happened with my African American friends and the Priesthood) miracles happen and things change.

    Thank God! (Really)

    One day my daughter and I were in my city (Seattle) and I saw on a ol dusty hippie car "Jesus Was A Jewish Liberal".  I have that picture across the top of my facebook to remind me that his ideas, at one point, were thought of as liberal. Love your neighbor???Thats hippie talk! (As one of my friends said) fbid=3424419863119&set=a.3424403942721.117310.1648943355&type=1&theater

    Jesus was the ultimate in service, and all around him were women. The first person he chose to show himself to after his crucifixion was a woman.

    Truly, he loved and revered women.

    As one of the most incredible women of our time, Mother Teresa once said

    I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”

    ― Mother Teresa  (Thanks Steffi)

     I don't want to make waves, I want to create ripples. I want to change the world for GOOD.

     Water travels. Water nourishes. Water reshapes the environment around it.

    Water creates life. A force of nature...

    Kind of like women, don't you think?