Songs of Aletheia (The Greek Godess Of TRUTH)
I AM A SURVIVOR. I could have been one of the numberless child abuse victims that have been seen in the obituaries.I could have given in to the darkness that surrounded me at every turn. I could have taken my own life. (As I've said in a song I wrote called "If" "Should I let my father kill me, or should I do it myself?") The human spirit, no matter how much darkness there is, sometimes finds the tiniest bit of light in the darkest of places. I am Unbreakable.
Thursday, February 16, 2023
I moved...and then I moped. The Move Knocked me into the WORST Menopause stuff I have ever been through in my Life. Ok now. WHEW!
Sunday, December 11, 2022
BAD SANTA! (I am allowed everywhere else in the mall EXCEPT where Santa is.)
I am awake because I had a horrible, triggering experience today. But it's weirdly funny. The more I think about it, the funnier it is.
I went to visit Santa at the mall that I sang 4 songs with a day ago…it wasn’t very busy and we sang together.
I got pictures taken.
We were singing and we were talking. It was seriously FUN!
This time it was earlier in the day and of course people were coming up with their kids, so I got out of the way but because I was waiting to get my pictures I stayed there and talked with the people.
Because I always stick "Bart The Bat" brochures (I am a children's book author who wants to tell people about how good bats are- they pollinate cacao (chocolate- look it up on google, its really true.) in my purse I was telling them about meeting a bat, giving them brochures etc...I just wasn't thinking about it....
Well next thing I know the mall cop comes up, starts saying I need to leave and I said "I need my pictures" He said you didn't pay for them." I was mortified- the college kid who awas at the booth never asked for it and I spaced out…I said "Here's my card" I'm happy to pay and I told him a thing or two and he said "I don't give a fuck, you need to leave."
I was SO angry because he was really being a jerk. I said "I am getting my pictures. You are being incredibly rude. Don't talk to me that way, especially as an employee of the mall."
I also told him I had a $25 Victoria's Secret Card. He's like I'll walk you there, get what you want but then you have to leave."
Anyway, I got my stuff, no one else was there so I sang the song with Santa that I was going to sing, (I heard The Bells On Christmas day (I was going to record it for me Facebook page and the college kid had my phone but of course now she handed it back seeing it was getting weird. ) I didn’t mean to but I sang “ backwards) “The right shall fail, the wrong prevail” I was so turned around. OMG. WHOOPS.
Then got my pics after having her take one more pic as she did a seriously crappy job.
Then the security guard and I went to V.S. I talked to him for a while, I was so rattled and shaking that I was having trouble remembering where my car was...
He said he would help me find my car and I said "Ok- maybe if you do that I won't think you're a total asshole." Then he kind of smiled. ( I remembered where it was a few minutes later) He apologized for swearing. (I told him the F word was my go to word when I was angry, and he said that was his go to...)
I talked to him as he was walking me to my car...he is African American, and I asked him if he was mormon (as so many people here are. I have great neighbors, 3 around me that I know of and we all help each other when on vacation and get packages for each other and mail. They are quite nice.) He said no and I said "Thank God, you're smart! HAHA...I also told him (this is in the newspapers from long ago, and a long buried fact but when African Americans were given the priesthood in the mormon church the REAL reason that happened was because about 500 relatives of African Americans actually threatened to sue the mormon church if they didn't give them the priesthood- so guess what? Suddenly God and "the prophet" had a "Revelation." suddenly it happened and they got the priesthood.) Anyway, we kept talking. I asked him "are we good?"
He said yes and we both went on our way.
That was BAD. I I am still awake and rattled. I found out from him that Santa actually called him on me. One of my friends said does that make me on Santa's naughty list? OMG but WHOAH. I won't bring my brochures again…
I just was bored because that 17 year old employee who didn’t ask for my card kept ushering people in front of me- which I understand but I just forgot to give her my card. And I always talk about bats because of the one that ended up in my house (I helped him out of my house too because no one would help me!)
Again...bats pollinate cacao- chocolate- a lot of people don’t know that…(look it up on google…its an actual thing) They also pollinate pineapple, and coffee beans, and pretty much every fruit. They are IMPORTANT.
Anyway, I have over 1300 people on my Facebook page- really SANTA, I don’t need to advertise…
Ok the next day I went back…I must be an idiot.
I originally wanted to go to say I was sorry for soliciting and sing with Santa- I even printed out "I Heard The Bells On Christmas day" in bigger font because "Santa" said he couldn't see smaller font, so I printed one bigger. The guy is a great singer- (I was in a band years back writing and singing and we got invited as one of 3 bands to be in :”Battle of The Bands when I lived there- I sang like 4 songs with him just because he did.) I had thought he was a nice guy.
(Though that first day they were taking forever and even having little kids cutting in front of me to get pics even though I was there the first time I went there- it was annoying, but I did it, even helped. (I thought) Later when the security guy came up he said something about paying- she hadn't asked me for my card though stupidly I spaced out and didnt give it to her at the beginning. My fault. Ug...a glutton for punishment obviously I went back and sang.
When I was there for such a long time (I also was having fun watching Santa and the kids but I did sing a bit. Santa is really good with the kids,,,I noticed that some of the little kids who were terrified of Santa would get scared-(I know my daughter sure did)- one girl at their place had just seen "A Christmas Story" and her mother said and was terrified of Santa because of the Santa fromthat movie...I can still hear that Santa in my head. "Ho ho ho!"
So I knew the mall Santa sang and told the girl that had just seen 'A Christmas Story with the scary Santa to tell him her favorite Christmas song...she did and they sang together.... It was really cute.
I told other kids that he sang and sang with them off by the booth (not where they were. Maybe that annoyed Santa. I don't know.)
Not long after Santa actually called security on me (He had no idea I helped that little girl to not be terrified of him.)
This time I waited in line to sit with Santa and take another picture and pay $50 for it...like I said, I even printed out a bigger caps version of the song I wanted to sing with him. ( I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day is so powerful... that's the one I wanted to sing. Still sad about that) I made sure the second time that no brochures were in my purse too) he said he had trouble seeing the words to a Christmas song on my phone last time we sang together(we sang 4 songs together last time. )
THE ONLY REASON I STAYED LONGER IS BECAUSE THEY KEPT HAVING PEOPLE CUT IN FRONT OF ME. I was patient, but on another note because they did that I was astonished that they kept doing that. (though I get it, they had to hurry people through.)
Again, with all of that going on, again- stupidly, I forgot to pay.
The security guard reminded me of that when he came over and I was mortified. Of course I paid then.
This 2nd time around, I waited in line, and I even let a little girl in front of me. We all had to wait as he was on break. He shook all our hands ( mine last) and then sat in his perch.
That's when I saw the security guard and they asked me to leave again! They said that I could go anywhere else in the mall, just not there near Santa. SO weird. Banished.
OMG I have been rejected by Santa. I think he called the security guards on me again.
OK I’ve heard the phrase “sometimes you will be too much for some people." But I’ve never heard the phrase “but they may call security.” Looking at this picture actually makes me laugh because .
Later I printed this out and brought it to the Mall Manager and he said he was sorry that any of this happened to me.
Monday, August 5, 2019
Those We Love Never Completely Leave us. Ever.
More about the book at www.bartthebat.com (The Bat That Came To Breakfast and Bart Befriends A Butterfly) (C) H.D Vesser 2019
Thursday, July 18, 2019
Man Killed By Police In Tacoma Washington: His Daughters Response (The man I and My Friends Spoke To At The Candlelight Vigil Hours Before His Death)
So glad that I was determined to go to the The Tacoma concentration camp (well, they are concentrating certain people with brown skin in those camps... that IS a concentration camp, and it HAS been done to death in history. The first one was in Cuba )
He was at that horrible place to protest holding the people inside.
I don’t care what anyone else says...this man was a beautiful soul who felt deeply and cared more than anyone will ever know. I may not agree with what he did, but talking to him with his sign that said "Never Again" I could tell that he CARED that people are suffering. I will always remember how loving and especially passionate he was about those people being held inside the center.
This is what his daughter said about her father.
The Anniversary Of Her Death, And Yet, She Is Showing Me There Is Life.
(Pauline is int he green hat...I am the one in the middle with red blonde and black hair)
Soooo...I hear that this retrograde thing is going on along with a few other things...I haven't felt this down in YEARS. I think I am starting to feel a bit better because....
Pauline (my friend that died July 16th last year) seems to me as if she has sent messages over these last few days)
a white moth showed up in my front AND back yard when I was outside, and a hummingbird sat in front of me in my back yard .
Tuesday, July 16, 2019
Willem Von Spronson's Manifesto (The Man Who Was Shot And Killed By Tacoma Police)
I am awake at 4 A.M. this morning. I can't stop thinking about this guy. Before we left the Tacoma Detention center protest candlelight vigil ( I was with friends) we talked to Willem. ( I did for a few minutes, then talked to another woman next to him who was also leaving about how there had been a camp here before where they were protesting and how the police bulldozed their camp at the detention center.)
I just remember Willem being very sad about how people were being treated inside the canter. I just remember he looked really sad. I will never forget his eyes. He had such kind eyes. He just looked so sad.
He said he "Just didn't like concentration camps" and that he was staying all night and that he had done that before. (stayed all night after protests) He had a sign that said "Never Again."
He seemed like someone who cared very VERY much about how people were treated.
I see on social media that more than one person has said that Willem was not someone who they thought showed "White privilege." That he just cared very deeply about how people were treated.
A couple years ago, I was at Trader Joes grocery and talked about the Womans March that I was going to go to, and an AntiFa (antifascist) woman came up and spoke to me.
She said " we are here and at marches and protests to protect people. We, (Antifa) and I have gone to marches against Nazi's standing in front of our brothers and sisters who are at risk (especially those of color who are targeted) to protect them (Physically if it comes to that) at all costs"
I have heard, and saw at the Portland March Against The Nazis (which I went to) that Antifa was there handing out granola in wicker baskets to the protesters (I got a bag of granola)
The feeling I get is that they feel they are here to protect people.
I think Willem was trying to make a statement. (for those of you who saw the car that was burnt up- that was his daughters car.) I think that he was trying to wake people up.
This is the message I think he wants people to know through his "Manifesto."
Not that I agree with it entirely, but I think we are at a troubling time in our history.
This is his Manifesto. (His picture and manifesto was posted by someone who is involved in his Antifa group.)
I can at least post it, and those who see it will understand better where he was coming from. (or maybe not depending on which side of the fence you are on.)
Looks like someone already wrote a song about him: https://garlicbreadandroses.bandcamp.com/album/willem-van-spronsen?fbclid=IwAR2t47DTixDatRRfYg-a9GjTk4SUqFOsgT5Zs12RR7UlE3JtE-c2xHGaJ3g