Sunday, November 5, 2017

Don't Be A Dick

I am SO sick of some men treating women like they are a piece of meat for their inspection...(and before I get accused of being a man hater let me remind you that I am a woman who has been married to a guy for 27 years... :)) I walk down the street or store and guys look me up and down and even their comments make me want to mace them in the face for treating me that way...of course I don't but I am so weary and just plain exhausted being treated like this simply because I am a woman on this planet.

Men who do this need to grow up!

There are times men do it specifically for me to see in an obvious way and its just GROSS. It shows an unconscious privilege that some men have.

The other day one of my friends on Facebook  asked "what a person noticed about people when they meet them" (It is not the person’s fault who posted it that the person responded this way, but it was just so slimy and she just excused it- it eggs guys like this on) a guy responded and this is what ensued...and women excusing it is disgusting...( thank you my other friend for your response at the end. I appreciate it so much) I have written fucking blogs about this...
(Blogs at about 38,000 woo hoo)

The other day a woman told me online how much something I wrote helped her...this is why I write...this itself may end up a blog.
This guy’s comment about meeting people::
Dick: Nice rack , then eyes 👀 ! 😂😂😂
Friend 3: I don't think you're like that but, I wouldn't blame you if you are :-)
DICK: well I was joking , but what man don’t look at a nice rack !! 😂😂
Me: Dick I guess that means that a woman can compare men’s penises against others penises...
Me: It’s a small minded thing to do
Me: And gives men excuses to do horrible things
Me: It’s called get a brain in the right place
Me: Eye roll...Yes that’s the first thing I do when I meet a person... I guess the only people you meet are other women because I don’t think a man would appreciate them looking at “your rack”...Damn do you really go around looking at other men’s penises and saying “nice rack.”You might want to rethink that especially with all the well deserved sexual-harassment suits that are going around...Heaven forbid you get fired from your job for being an asshole...damn what women put up with...
DICK: It was a joke Heidi !
Me:  Mansplaining... that’s what men say when they say something disgusting to women or about women...It’s not funny and it just makes least most of them roll their eyes. It’s just gross man. And I’m a lady that’s been married 27 years so no I’m not a man hater I just hate it when men are pigs...You’re making men look bad and you don’t have to. I’m not a piece of meat. Would you like it if I said the first thing that I look for talking to a person is if they have a great penis?The good thing man is to look at and only if they have a great penis , a good body a good body and nice hair and they’re young anyone else we can just throw them away... you don’t need to talk to them don’t need them at all...don’t need them at all in fact... Oh don’t worry husband I’m not looking at those younger men and their penises are you it’s not everyone but you...My husband just stated that last point... now he’s a decent guy
DICK: Heidi Sebastion 👍
Friend: Heidi , I went to High School with DICK. Trust me he's totally not that way he was being funny :-)
Me: I hear you...but that kind of talk turns women into objects and it’s not funny...
DICK: Heidi Sebastion I apologize !
Me: A guy who is very big on stopping this kind of talk (Jackson Katz - if every guy would be like this guy There wouldn’t be a problem anymore) anyway he talks about if men would stop each other instead of rationalize that men would be stopped as bad treatment would stop... I appreciate what you said John 🙂 thanks from women everywhere... 🙂 (I didn't see his comment up above making excuses for it so its an empty so called "sorry" men making excuses for men is pathetic.)
Friend 3: I see the full moon is working its be Vernis on all of us :-)
Me: I would say this to any guy treating women like this
Me: And as a woman it’s worse if women defend it... they make other women victims of men. I’m really disappointed (friends name) that you’re doing that and making excuses for him. That is how this shit keeps going. when men stay silent or egg them on and women excuse it laugh about it (because thats what we are taught to do as women or say "thats ok"
Friend 2: Heidi does have a point.

Me: From my blog thats over 38,000 hits- men like you are the reason I write blogs like this, to help women stand up for themselves. A woman told me the other day that she read my blog and it helped her stand up for herself. I'm damn proud that its helping women to stand up for themselves instead of staying silent.
DICK: Heidi Sebastion what exactly do you mean by stand up for themselves ?!?!
Me: If you don't understand that comment you’re more clueless and need more help than anyone can give. Not talking to your sorry pathetic perverted disgusting self anymore. BYE! And I think it’s hilarious that you feel you have to tag me to try to get my attention just to be an even bigger dick.

DICK: Heidi Sebastion 👍
Friend: Women are always sexualized by men. Most jobs I've ever had throughout my life I had to quit because of sexual harassment. Even now some creepy male customers make my job very uncomfortable because they come on to me. I've had to tell them to leave me alone. I just want to do my job without being bothered.

Me: I totally hear you! And if men would police other men instead of egging them on and acting like "oh you are such a stud for doing it" not to mention women being taught to put up with it and even excuse it and be 'oh hahah thats funny (when really in reality what woman is really thinking that? ) this bullshit would stop.

Friend 6: I'm non binary but I'm read as male by everyone now. So I do my best to police other men and tell them to stop. It's disgusting how men talk about women when they think there aren't any around.

Friend 3 Good morning :-) Heidi, I agree wholeheartedly with the majority of how you feel on the subject. I wasn't meaning to condone DICK'Scomment. I do not know him very well but, even in high school he has always been known for being somewhat shy loves to get out and play pool he works hard and he definitely was a mama's boy. I used to work with his dad at the Navy base years ago and he's passed on several years ago but October 26th John's mother died and it was devastating to him. His comment about the rack I must say came out of left field from him. I was more surprised that he even left a comment on my wall for the first time in a long time. Anyway, I've got to get back over to your blog and catch up with things. I hope you and I are okay?

ME: We are, just made me sad that you coddled the guy about it...I know people don't want to start waves but acting like its ok just fuels the flames with guys...Even sadly with his mother dying its even worse that he would spout that crap about women. I just won't put up with that. ...I would have said what I did to anyone who spouted that shit... Its triggering- I'm sure not just for me... which is why I don't stay quiet...I feel like I'm speaking for those who are afraid to.

Friend 3: I like that you stood up for your values. Always welcome on my wall :-)

Me:I like to think I stand up for all women where some think they can't...

Friend 4:Way past due for us to treat each other as beings and not genders and stereotypes.

   Me: YES!

Friend 1: Some years ago, I was passing an office that was being remodeled. I was with two other women. It was lunch time and the workers were all sitting in a huge glassed in area. As we passed a worker held up three signs, 10-9- and 8. We walked on around the corner and there was a woman police officer. So I told her, when we walked back to our office she was in with the workers shaking her finger at the rater. So seldom does opportunity present itself so quickly.

Me: Good for you guys and that police officer...I hope she gave him HELL!

And just for fun: Damn this song is stuck in my head now...might have to look it up on ITunes...