Tuesday, April 12, 2011

All Good Things Must End. The Chuck E. Fiasco

High school classes were usually a bore.

Until I ended up in Chuck and his friends class. I actually enjoyed the class. Chucks lingo was usually in the perverted persuassion. I didn't know what half the things he said meant, I was so naive.  His sentences to me went something like this..."Do you know what a "--------" is? Would you like to know what a "------------- " is" Evil grin....(I'm being liberal with the ----so you don't know what he said...lol)

I was even in a ceramics class with him, and one day he walked up to me and handed me what he had painted, told me it was for me and that I could keep it. It was this perfectly painted lil fireman with a strategically placed HOSE in his hand. I was totally clueless. I may as well have grown up in la la land.

(Coincidentally, I have been married 20 years. I'm no lily white maiden anymore.HA!)

I asked my mom what all of those things he said to me meant, but my mom would turn a whiter shade of pale, or she would explain, in excruciating detail until I did:p)

Even if he told me what those things meant, I was in a permanent state of bliss from all the attention. He may have been a pervert, but there was just this coolness about him that I couldn't resist.

Not to mention somehow or other there was this pheromones thing going on. You don't know what Pheromones are? Well, I looked it up once and it got me giggling so hard. Black widows attraction...and mens armpit odor, an aphrodisiac? Heaven forbid that would turn women on, womens menstral cycles changing just because of mens armpit odor? Can I have that in a can please?:p(And have you noticed all of our problems have started with men? Menstral cycle, menopause?:p Well! ) I don't know what thats all about, but any time Chuck  walked into the room, or was anywhere in the vicinity, I KNEW he was there. Maybe it was the smell. HA!:p It was so weird. He wasn't even the norm when it came to guys I liked.

That warm feeling would get going in the pit of my stomach.Thats only happened twice in my life, and with all the crap going on in my home life, it felt good to think that maybe, just maybe someone liked me.

His favorite thing to do was sit behind me, light his lighter (I don't remember him ever smoking though) and all of a sudden it was like I was wearing hot pants. Literally. I think he liked to see me jump. He did this...A LOT. It was a strange kind of compliment I think.

Any time our teacher would leave the room I could expect this.

One day everything was more serious though. The intensity was so thick. I could cut it with a knife. I didn't know what was going to happen.

When the teacher did his usual leaving the room routine, Chuck asked me out, in front of EVERYONE. TO THE DRIVE IN. I was beside myself. I didn't know what to do. I thought it was a JOKE.
So I said no. Suddenly all hell broke loose. And yet if it was hell, it sure was quiet. I have NEVER been so uncomfortable in all my life.

I didn't realize, or even think about it at that moment, but I think I humiliated him in front of ALL of his friends. Maybe they thought I would be a sure thing, maybe it was a bet to see if he could get me to the drive in. I wasn't going to be caught dead there. But I think they were all expecting a yes from me.

How embarrassing.

Too proud, or scared to take it back,(Because I had really wanted to go out with him, though now I would never know if it was on the level or not) I cowered in my chair for the rest of that class semester. Chuck would still pull the lighter out when i wasn't looking, and literally fry my butt. How sweet.
We even had beach day in class and when our teacher left again, he and his friends pelted me with spitballs. I took refuge behind the chalkboard.

I couldn't tell if it was a joke anymore,but those spitballs sure took a long time to get out of my hair.

Despite the Chuck E. Fiasco, I still had some man candy after my um naive, silly little girl...How can I say this politely..butt.

I was walking down the hall, got out of school, got home, sat down and there was something sticky on the back of my pants. I reached back, peeled it off, and took a look at the sticker that someone had stuck on my butt. The sticker said "DinoMINT! It was a scratch n sniff mint sticker. It even smelled good.

Guess I still had it after all. HA!!

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