Wednesday, May 18, 2011

All Play And No Work Make Jane A Dull GIrl

Ok, so it’s a word play on “The Shining”, (Which is a GREAT book, by the way-and NOT the Jack Nickelson version, they TOTALLY ruined the book! The TV version was MUCH better starring Steven Weber, Rebecca De Mornay, Courtland Mead, check it out some Halloween….it really goes into the character, and they are SO much more lovable than that LAME Jack Nicholson version ever was. I HATED that movie. The only redeemable quality in it it’s the “Heres Johnny” part…but oh WAIT! They got that from Stephen Kings BOOK so… meh.. Ok… so not like me…lol now I’m totally off topic…let me take a deep breath and go back …:P)

So if you’re not getting any work done, nothings shining…The furniture, the fridge, the Knives…….muuuuahhahahahah…lol...haha:p

In the book  “Little Women” (Sorry, I’m gonna go all girly on ya for a minute, but it has a good morale.) From the Shining, to Little women. Man this is a twisted blog :p

The women in the book decide on an experiment for a week. One character Meg decides she’s going to “Lie abed late. Jo decided to read, and Beth, Ava and the other girls all decided to not do any lessons, but play all the time and rest, if mother doesn’t mind” (Their poor mother:p)

Their mother being wise said “You may try your experiment for a week and see how you like it. You may find that all play and no work is as bad as all work and no play”

They all toasted each other. “Fun forever and NO grubbing” Cried Jo!

Little by little they realize it’s NOT fun. The entire house ends up in a pigsty, no one has to do dishes even though they are piling up, Everyone is grumpy because they are bored, Jo gets a headache from reading too much, One girl reverts to stuffing a mess under the couch, and Saturday morning one of the girls finds their pet canary is stone cold DEAD because…nobody FED the poor thing. (DUH!)

And their mother is mysteriously absent Saturday morning. Taking a “break “for the day she says. No fire in the hearth, no breakfast ready, no food out for supper.

In the end they all realize how awful things are when everybody doesn’t help out. Their mom teaches them an important lesson. Nothing goes right when people are only thinking of themselves. ESPECIALLY when it comes to work.

Many hands make light work isn’t just a phrase, it’s the TRUTH.

And if you are thinking well. "Cleaning is women’s work", (Shame on you…lol) you are sadly mistaken dear reader. My husband and I have become so much closer through working TOGETHER than working apart. I remember Joe and I used to go at it....him about work, I about all I did, it it was some kind of twisted competition to see who did more. It shouldn't be that way.

A few minutes ago I was thinking about our fights way back when on it and I realized we haven’t had that age old fight that I bet MANY people have (Or don’t because there are some people who don’t speak up, but are still bitter about it) that that so many men and women have. FOR YEARS.  “I do all this” “Well, I do all that” it’s a ridiculous battle.

When we first married I started small. I told Joe that if he left stuff out, he would find it under the bed. Made for a lot of lost socks lol. At my house NOW  we have a routine. I can't believe it took me 16 years to figure this out. When I first started the routine Joe threw a fit, but now he’s totally into it.The routine is....Wed morning, when I get up, I undo the sheets on the bed on my side (NOW Joe does the other side) Then Joe brings them to the washer where I get it going. AND he brings down the clothes hamper (That is all his doing now, I used to always do that part, I never asked him to but he does, it’s pretty cool:))But I get the laundry done, on the washer, dryer side of it and I bring it upstairs) By the time he’s done with work all the laundry’s on our bench, along with the stuff to make the bed. SO we make the bed, together. Then we put the laundry on the bed and sort it while we watch TV. Together.

First time I did this when he came home to it he was really angry and threw a fit but now, to his credit, he really helps, and he could have been a jerk and refused to. To his credit, he was a real man and did what needed to be done. In the end, its not the flowers, the presents and the promises. (Though all that is nice) Its the CONTINUOUS help that women crave, and men who help instead of just sitting around watching tv or being selfish and not helping just makes for a bitter, overworked wife.

Working together is really good us time and time to talk. Thursday I get up especially early and do all the cleaning of the house except for the vacuuming. Then Joe gets up (around 5 or 7 am) and does the vacuuming, starting with my yoga room so I can do yoga while he’s vacuuming.

Then the weekend is OURS!

The only thing that’s always left to do every day is the dishes. At my house EVERYONE does their OWN. After we’ve eaten, everyone (In our case now, just the two of us, but my daughter did when she was home) washes off their own plate. After all the person who ate off it made the mess so why not just be fair and clean the thing off and out of messes’ way. (I know it’s harder with teenagers though. I had to CONTINUALLY remind my daughter, UG!) Put it in the dishwasher till its full, then Joe and I take out the dishes together. We have a system for that too. I do the top, he does the bottom, and when were sick, we help each other out by whoever isn't as sick taking them out but we still do our own dishes.

As to cooking, a lot of times I do it all in one shot,(Not always) but I make good food. Fettuccini, Ziti, Beef stroganoff and THai Tom Kai Gai are some of what I make. When I'm done cooking the bulk of the food we put it all into little bowls and stick some in the fridge, some in the freezer. The house smells AMAZING. Then together we do the clean up.

Sundays we make pancakes together, with fresh blueberries (I like bananas in mine with the blueberies. Theres a great store called Winco that has the most amazing 10 grain pancake mix in bulk, If you have one, go try it out:) We like it better than buttermilk pancakes which is werid, I've NEVER liked 10 grain pancakes before.)

I FINALLY feel like we are PARTNERS, and that I am not my husband’s maid. It makes for a happy house. It REALLY isn't fair for the woman to do all the work. I complained for years instead of being proactive and it got me NOWHERE, just miserable.

All it took was me being proactive:) That changed everything.

I have learned that in life, EVERYTHING takes being proactive. Life was not meant to just sit back and complain about, it was meant to be LIVED, explored, boldly going where no man ever has;) and CHALLENGING ourselves, seeing what we are capable of. And if the little things get in the way, (Like laundry…lol)  how will we get where we need to go? We NEED each other. We need to help each other.  TO INSPIRE each other. To let a person know that the things they are trying to do in life are important.

Again….Many hands make light work.

It might be uncomfortable for a while, because people aren’t happy   that they actually have to HELP.

In my mind if you’re getting your kids to help, ESPECIALLY the boys, it teaches them a good lesson. Any mom who does not teach their sons to help around the house is doing a disservice to the women that their sons marry, in my opinion. The women who don't have their sons help are basically telling them it’s ok for a women to do all the work. In essence, unwittingly, that women make good maids. I don’t think that’s a good lesson.

Women were meant to be a man’s  EQUAL, their PARTNER, not a servant.

 It makes for a MUCH better, happier house, all the way around, in the long term.

(Ok, back to your noramlly scheduled'll get back to my normal blogs now, I still have to finish my moms journal at some point. A friend just had a blog about cleaning and it got my wheels turning)

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