Thursday, June 23, 2011

Sebastion: The Memorial. Part 7

Sebastion: The Memorial
Writing about this is like ripping open a scab that has just started to heal. It HURTS. I've been sitting here this afternoon bawling through most of this last bit about Buggy. It’s painful. I’m exhausted but I don’t want to forget. And so I write.
At the time he passed we sat around moping for quite a while. We talked about how he was, things he did, how we missed him.  I was SO emotionally and physically drained that I just went back to sleep after that and slept and slept. I woke up to the sound of the lawn mower. Of Course.

Joe couldn’t handle what was happening with our lil guy and went outside to mow the lawn. On a week day. Not typical at all.
Meanwhile Jez was wandering around, she looked so lost. I don’t know if she stayed downstairs where we had Buggy after he had died while Joe was mowing the lawn or not, but when I woke up and found out Joe had dug a hole, he picked up Buggy, I picked up Jez  and as we were going out the screen door as Jez gave him a lick, as if to say…”Wake UP!” , Joe pulled him away. I think it was like a knee jerk reaction, Being protective of buggy, AND Jez. We went up to the place Joe had picked for him, one of his favorite places to be in the yard, by the big forest trees he had liked to mark (What a memory) and right away Joe put buggy in the hole.  Jez FREAKED OUT. She jumped out of my arms and ran away. I got down towards that hole and said my goodbyes, I was just bawling.

But poor Joe….He was in so much agony that he just wanted to finish burying his buddy so he could just finally fall apart and let it all out. Sebastion was his favorite dog. They really were buddies. But so was Jez and Sebastion. I almost wondered if she thought that “he was in trouble so we put him in a hole” or something. Might seem silly, but you just don’t know what is in a cats head.
We stood there arm in arm and read
“The Best Place To Bury A Dog”
There is one best place to bury a dog.
If you bury him in this spot he will come to you when you call
Come to you over the grim, dim frontier of death and down the well-remembered path
And to your side again
And though you call a dozen living dogs to heel, they shall not growl at him, nor resent his coming, for he belongs there.
People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall, who hear no whimper, people who may never really have had a dog.
Smile at them, for you shall know something that is hidden from them, and which is well worth the knowing.
The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of his master.”
(By Ben Her Lampman From the Orgonian Sept 11, 1925)
Joe got through about a sentence of the poem, and then I had to take over and read the rest, both of us tears streaming down our face.
Jezabel was nowhere to be seen.
Usually Jez abel is a very talkative cat. After Buggy’s death for WEEKS, she wasn’t. She wandered the yard, searching for Buggy, little chin not in that little curled up smiley face I was used to seeing, Just a straight, sad little pulled in face. They had ALWAYS been together. She walked around with such a sad  sad face. When she did meow it was a pitiful, mournful sound. I don’t know if she’ll ever be the same. Its been a month, and she’s talking to me in that cute little chirping way that Maine coon cats are known to do ;more like she used to, but watching her wander the yard with her head snapping around any time a dog barks just rips my heart out. She’s lost her best friend.
I read once of a woman who passed away,(and came back) and instead of a person greeting her, it was her dog.
After a VERY joyous reunion where the dog was telling her (Telepathically, of course;)) everything, he showed her his HOUSE. Heaven to him, was her house. But not just one. He had made all his favorite places houses she had lived with him, all into one big house with all his favorite things, and everything he loved about her.  She felt so much love from her pet. Then she was gone and back in her body.
I wonder if when Jez goes, that he’ll be on the other side, waiting for her, favorite things close by. The little pom and the big kitty, sleeping side by side, never to be parted again.

There’s a quote  from “Gladiator”. You know , a short sweet quote that  everybody knows.
For me, the time that is coming may be far into the future. And yet it makes me sad that I can’t see my  little friend. But some day.
Just “Not yet my little friend. Not yet”.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtzQRq6qSFA

1 comment:

  1. Jezabel...now you two are together, never to be parted again. I LOVE YOU...till we meet again my beautiful girl. <3

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