The only thing holding me back sometimes is laziness. And I know I’m not lazy, it’s just getting up the gumption to write it all, if I think about it too much and analyze it to death, I can talk myself right out of doing it. I have too much going through my head.
An artist whos working on my kids book to talk to and make sure I pay, and THIS "Unbreakable" book to work on, and food to cook,(All organic, and made by me, thank you:) and guitar to play, piano to learn, and french and spanish, and songwriting to do, And my Nia training I'm getting ready to do to become a Nia instructor (AMAZING dance/martial Arts/and healing arts classes- A teacher there who teaches Nia recommended me for a scholarship!) , And flowers to look at, and running off to chase butterflies…(so to speak) la de da de daaaaa…
Makes me think of a book, a “Spell for Chameleon”, (by Piers Anthony) where there are actual “bumble “bees… if they catch your attention, they make you bumble off the path and before you know it, you’re totally and completely LOST.
So it might take me a bit longer to get everything that’s jumbled up in my head straightened out to where I can put it on paper (or the computer)
( I learned that from Brad Yates, the tapping guru; (Look him up, hes on YouTube) as I sat in on one of his seminars)
Yes other people can be ridiculous, can be cruel, and can be abusive but the difference is, WHAT are we willing to do to get ourselves OUT of it?
A child doesn’t have a choice. But an adult who should be protecting that child DOES. (Whether the person abusing them tries to make them feel powerless or not)
It all comes down to this. Am I going to allow myself to be powerless? Am I going to let someone hurt; maim or kill my child, or even myself?
Do I really feel THAT worthless that I allow myself to be powerless?
It IS a conscious CHOICE. Period.
Whether leaving means that our financial situation is seriously screwed or not, what will happen to our children? Sometimes I think were so worried about ourselves that our children become 2nd. With how precious our children really are, we forget that they should be first when it it comes to their well being.
As long as they are living with us at least.
Yes, you need to take care of yourself first to be able to take care of the child, but you get my drift, right?
But we are not children anymore.
Throwing herself back, like so many kids do, EXPECTING someone to be there to catch that fall.
Problem is, we have to be the one there to catch ourselves and we can’t be two places at once, no matter how good we women (In my case anyway) tend to think we are at multitasking.:P
I think it’s because she’s afraid she may never stop.
Whether they believe it or not, it’s a conscious choice.
Most kids won’t admit it, but what they are begging for, DYING for, is LOVE. It’s behind what everyone ultimately in the world wants. Behind fear, behind anger, beyond anything else, is that so many times unspoken word. LOVE. It’s all we really, ultimately want.
I was like a bird in a cage stuck in a coal mine, any minute could be my last.
I never had that.
I was terrified when all alone he showed ME the padded walls of a solitary cell…He worked at that hospital. Who knows what he would have done to me there.
And again I realize that, just like when I almost drowned, just like when my father choked me and I thought that it was all over, I was shown that there was a love in a whole different place where things are as they always were from the beginning. There have been two times in my life where I've felt that kind of love. Both times I almost died.
(If you don't know those stories and are curious, they are here...http://songsofaletheia.blogspot.com/2011/03/what-do-you-do-when-u-stop-breathing.html and. ...http://songsofaletheia.blogspot.com/2011/10/almost-drowning-at-erie-lake-peninsula.html)
I have no doubt now. God had my back.