Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Ceramics Class, The Pervert And The Red Leather Pants

Any of you know God’s gift to women?
 I have known several.
 Every high school has at least one. Mine had PLENTY. One I remember was the student body president who would swagger down the halls waving hello to his loyal subjects, cheerleader on his arm.
The other was a jock.  A football player with flaming red hair.
When he walked down the hall EVERYONE cowered. (Ok, well maybe that was just me.)
The sad thing is, seemed he almost sensed it in people, at least that’s what it felt like.
But then again, I’ve never had much luck with football players. Thank God (really!:P)
Maybe it’s all the testosterone. HAHA.
When THIS guy would walk the halls it was like watching a tank. Muscles rippling, grunting  hello’s to his teammates by bashing them up against the wall, smacking people left and right with his gigantic claw of a hand. The man could have been wearing an animal skin and it would have fit. He looked and talked just like…a caveman.
But what did he wear?
Bright red leather pants.
Now on a rock star that might have been cool. You know the type.  Long lanky legs, Steven Tyler scream. (hence the pants:P)
The way the pants hung on THIS guy, it looked like stuffing a hamster, albeit a well-built hamster, into some serious leather. (Ok now the image in my head is making me laugh)
And still he was proud of his “package”.
I’ll tell you how I know…later.:P (Ok, Ok, I’ll tell you in a few paragraphs:P)
I never did understand this world of men where smacking someone meant hello and football players and baseball players alike swat each other’s butts to congratulate each other.
You ever see women do that?:P Me either.
 In the small little world that circled around my high school it was the cowboys and jocks that were out to prove that men are men and scrawny little freshman boys (Sometimes they weren’t freshmen :p) were to be shoved into lockers, after all…they HAD to show them their place. 

I was stuck with this red haired monstrosity of a guy in my ceramics class. The same class where Chuck gave me the firefighter with the um…ehem… “hose”. (In another blog)  He might have even given me that fireman on the day, not to be outdone by the jock.
I was completely naïve on the day that the pervert…hey wait…Chuck and C.J… C.J(That’s what I’ll call him)  were both perverts, so not only was I in class with 1 pervert, I was in class with 2.:P
But only one pervert wore red leather pants.
C.J came over when the teacher was gone, plopped his big bad self-down  on the chair  next to me, (I was surprised he didn’t rip his leather pants) and told me he was “hot”. I didn’t have a clue what was going on so I said. “So… Get a glass of water or something.” Then he told me to look at his pants.
By then all the guys in the class were laughing.
Since his first comment got the guys laughing, being such a stud, he thought he’d throw in another one. “Can’t you tell? My pants are bulging!”   Bulging what? I thought. All I knew was that the only way this guy must have gotten that abomination to the leather world on is (In my husband’s words) a trampoline and Vaseline…haha.(These days I would have thought he looked JUST like Johnny Bravo, (Cmon MAMA!!) with Red hair. :p look him up if you don’t know who he is. Isn’t the internet wonderful?:p)  All I saw was a guy in tacky red leather pants so I said “SO” again.
 I was completely clueless.:p
That’s what happens when you have 4 sisters, no brothers, a throw em to the wolves mom which leads to…I don’t know anything about men.:p
Well, mercifully the beast left because couldn’t get a reaction out of me. That or one of the girls in class told him to leave me alone. Yeah, he was talking to the most naïve person on the planet.  Me.
All I knew was as he left I heard roaring behind me. All the girls but 1 (The one who told him to stop) were slouching in their chairs and all the guys were laughing again.
And I was still trying to figure out what THAT was about.
Years later I actually confronted him in a store I worked at how much he had embarrassed me in class with his red leather pants.
He actually remembered and apologized saying “I’m not like that anymore” Yeah sure…(if any of you follow me on facebook, you would know that lately I’ve been posting about how  “Scientific studies actually show that the teenage brain isn’t developed yet” :P  Ok, heres proof:p lol...HA! )
Now after all that I don’t know if I made that big of an impression on C.J, but those pants sure did NOT!
This was also was also where Randy, a friend of the family taught me how to swear.
 It was just that kind of class.:P

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