These will be the WEIRDEST stories about spiders you'll ever hear.
Or that spiders must be my totem...groooooooooooooovy man.
My WHOLE life I have had problems. I feel like little miss Muffet. Yesterday I had another spider incident. I got Gelato, and was eating it when my daughter said she'd like some. I took a big spoonful of it and put it on my daughters plate with pizza then got into the car and started to go home when I hear a scream. The spoonful I was about to eat that I put on her plate had a big spider on it. Here's the rest of my story. Be ready to be grossed out.
WORD OF THE SPIDER KILLER. ( I am SOOOOO CURSED!)
Well, I was at this great bakery in Washington today. (If your from Washington I bet you've heard of it. People drive for MILES to get there, the food is SO good! Its around the ski area...You know....) It takes us a LONG time to get there, but the scenery is beautiful, and the food is amazing.
A lady I talked to from California had heard of and been there, visiting. And someone I talked to from Alaska had the Cinnamin rolls there. Diiiiiiiivine!
There are times word of mouth does wonders.
Its just this little place all the skiiers go to EARLY in the morning to get their muffins They (The muffins) along with the skiiers are all GONE early too!
I finally got my husband to go there for the first time this year for his birthday. We got him a HUGE cinn. roll and I stuck a candle in it and by the time we were through singing happy birthday, the whole place was singing happy birthday to him.
Today was a bit different though.
I was standing in line to get something with all these people, when I saw a spider dangling right near the case with all of the confections, and I thought "CRAP! ITS GOING TO GET INTO THE FOOD!" So I took off my shoe, and smashed it. Well a lilttle ol lady had been observing that spider, closely, and I had thought I would save the little old lady on top of that, I mean... you never know what a spider will do.
(Here's where I tell U my spider stories- Here comes some seriously strange stuff, I kid you not. I'll get back to the other story in a second.)
When I was a teenager I was trying to impress a boy I liked a lot. My friend and I were sitting on the grass and we were just talking when my friend said "Heidi, there is a SPIDER on your shoulder!" I started laughing and said "Yeah, RIGHT! " Then the guy said, "NO REALLY- THERE IS A SPIDER ON YOUR SHOULDER!" I decided to pacify them and look, and sure enough, there was some weird looking spider on my shoulder. I SCREAMED, and the thing, ultimately thinking my mouth was a cave or something, ran up my shoulder, up my neck and into my MOUTH! AND I SWALLOWED the thing! AND got sick right in front of the guy.
You think that would be enough to keep me away from spiders.
In college, I was sitting in a chair when I noticed right above me there was a spider, so I got up and moved to the opposite side of the room and sat down.
I swear to you, the spider moved to where it was directly over my head, AGAIN.
My friends thought it was hilarious.
Years later, I was a vender in a store and walked in, put my binder in a cart and opened up the binder to a spider sitting in the middle of it, so I flicked it off with a pen and whatever thread was connected to the spider kept it from going all the way to the floor, Though at first it dangled in the cart, and finally hit the floor. I walked off pushing the cart and I heard laughing (One of the clerks had been watching the spider with me) I looked behind me and saw every time I moved the cart, the spider followed. The thread was still attached. So the clerk tried to use her shoe to un attach the thread from the cart. She walked off, and ended up with the spiders web attached to her shoe and the spider went flying after her...Thats some STICKY web! The thing flipped over on its back and I could hear it going EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE in my head:p lol! So, the clerk got a paper and somehow got the guy outside alive. The little guy was fighting so hard to survive.
Then one day I was writing about all this spider stuff online and a BIG A. spider ran across my foot, I had looked down just in time to see it, TOTALLY freaked me out.
Another time I was singing with a guy band wise (I'm a singer) practicing downstairs in our house and whadaya know a huge spider ran out and I have recorded footage of me screaming and him goin "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? DID YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THAT THING???" Greg if you see this...REMEMBER??
I'm not even exempt from spiders at church.
I visited a friend from church and brought her food for one reason or another. I went into her house and as I was leaving walked to a certain area where I ended up face to face with a spider. I just missed it. (I ducked. I have had that happen time after time during my life and it is just automatic to look when I go under anything or around.)
The next week at church the same lady came in a little late and sat right in front of me. To my horror I realized a spider had hitched a ride to church on the back of her shirt and I did the only thing that was instinctive. I took my shoe off and squished it. On her back. And then I thought, what the???? did I do that for.
She did thank me though. HEH.
I have had MANY other near misses where I have been dive bombed by spiders, but I won't go into those anymore. I've said enough.
I have deducted and it comes down to this.
Spiders LIKE ME.
But as you've deducted by now, I don't like them back. I mean, if they are in a garden I am happy to have them, or hanging out in my back yard, anywhere but in my house, I leave them alone. But if they are in my house, watch out!
Ok, now we go back to the little old lady who was staring at the spider in front of me. I did what was instinctive. I squished it. With My SHOE.
Next thing I know I'm getting bawled out by the little old lady, who sais "I am horrible and rude" and "How could I just kill a creature like that?" thing after thing came out of her mouth. If she were a fly, or me...lol, she might be singing a different tune. "Well, I said to her...I'll just take care of that for you" and took a tissue out of my purse and wiped away the evidence. She just stared at me like I had committed murder and I just walked away smiling.
So much for that.
So what the ??? Why have so many weird things happened to me when it comes to spiders. And I DON'T think its coincidence. Its to often, and too weird. I mean, I alost swallowed a live spider AGAIN: