Saturday, October 6, 2018

Pauline (My Celebration Of Life Speech)

I’m afraid I would go on and on if I didn’t write this down.

Pauline and I met around music, online- I didn’t even live nearby. I lived in Lewiston Idaho

She was the moderator of a guitar group

I met her because of her letting people come to her house from all over the country come to her house for a guitar gathering(I thought she was nuts to let people she didn’t know do that) But I flew into Seattle with my husband and met at her house.

There are people I will remember forever because of her get together, including people I still know online.

I thought she was very formal (and classy) when I met her. Then she said something naughty and I thought... I could be friends with this lady.

My husband started going back and forth to Seattle from Lewiston for work and after a while I kept bugging him to just get a place there so he wouldn’t have to go back and forth, which he agreed to.

Suddenly I only lived 15 minutes away from her, and we would see each other at least once a week.

We would go food shopping together.

Later on after hearing about her parking... one time at Top foods she told me that a lady had gotten on her about the way she parked and Pauline told her “To go to hell”

I can still hear the fire in her voice when she told me about it. That woman could be SPICY when she wanted to be .

I can see her getting that “I am a classy lady” look in her eyes when she said “GO TO HELL” She knew just when to lay it on.

I ended up driving her shopping after that.

Her eyesight was going, which was agonizing to watch her go through.

However her sense of style cracked me up.

She had stickers that she put over parts of her glasses where her eyes were having problems to help her see better.

It was quite comical.

The thing about Pauline,,,

I know there were times when she would say “Heidi”, sometimes repeating herself several times after I had told her that something was really bothering me or I was getting worked up and she would just “say it like it was” in her rational way, and I would be like “Yeah, ok” and then we would discuss whatever it was… she just had a way of calming the storm, you know? I mean we got into some pretty big discussions, but the way she said “Heidi” Like “it’s going to be ok” really got me. She was also my “go to’ person when I had questions about things. She just was very wise. I really miss talking to her about things that are going on. I mean, I  REALLY miss that.

There also were things she and I have talked about... things that I don’t think I’ll repeat here.

I’ve recorded her voice, but I couldn’t play most of the things we talked about here. I found ONE entry that I sent to Eric (her son)  that wasn’t naughty.

One time we were on a trip to Portland and we were being naughty…

My phone recorded somehow on a friends answering service by mistake and suddenly the phone rang- it was that friend calling to say, do you realize you must have butt dialed...I was horrified...,its like they were listening in to a couple of ol bitty’s cackling like a couple of witches

I was a dance teacher for a while..I taught some of the  dancing in her house with me...I will always treasure that she did that with me.

We went to a drum festival in Seattle. We danced around with the drummers. We did a lot of fun things together.

I would dress up as a fairy and go to a medieval festival, and she would always come with me, One time she even wore  a black pair of wings with lacy gloves...she even got  a cute pair of wings for her dog “Boop” to wear.

Every Christmas she would get me another angel to put in my house. Not because she liked that,  but because she knew I did.

Every day I see something, whether I am at the store, where I see aloe vera plants. For some reason every time I see an aloe vera plant now I get teary eyed. (she gave me a start years back and said “every kitchen needs and Aloe Vera plant”)  

From the Aloe vera plant now sitting in the kitchen windowsill (Its a big plant now) to a snake plant that I got on the day I helped her (along with her son and others) to pack up so she could go live with Eric her son (she asked me if I wanted anything and I didn’t, so she kept offering me stuff. I didn’t want anything but she said here, take the mask you and I got at the Halloween store putting it in my hand. I have its twin,we both bought one in different colors... and now they sit together on my fireplace mantel.

Even after she ended up at her sons I would visit at least once a month, and I started giving her haircuts. I really treasured those moments (and appreciated Ashley and Eric being there to let me in so I could see her.)

The last time I saw her I had a feeling it was the last time I would see her, but I didn’t want to believe it. I just gave her a little massage in between cutting her hair, and she kept dozing off. I just felt a lot of love towards her. I said goodbye to her and hugged her a few extra times, hoping I would see her again.

For those of you who know my OLD family history, which was very abusive, having someone like her there was soothing.

She and I were two very different kinds of people.

I was very what she would call “wooey” and she was very matter of fact.

I like butterflies and she liked cold hard facts.

How we became friends I’ll never know, but we were close and we would talk about anything.

When I first met her I was religious, and then after some years and some bad experiences I was just spiritual.

She and I spoke about a near death experience I had at 16 and she always said she found it interesting... My experience was of an incomprehensible love that I have never felt here. It was just the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. It was all love, not judgement.

We always had a silly bet (way before she was sick) I would tease her and say “ Ok, so when you die either “Poof” everything will go black, or if you see a light, come back and tell me”
(since she considered herself an atheist/agnostic.)

I just didn’t think being a jerk about the whole heaven or not mattered as honestly, people will find out in the end anyway.)

It was always a joke between us, and then she got sick. It wasn’t a joke anymore to me, though of course I never told her that. But I think she understood it.

July 16th I had a dream about Pauline- how happy it was very late at night, midnight or after...I turned to my husband in bed and told him about it , went back to sleep and then totally forgot about it…

Then that day when I went rollerblading there was a white butterfly that was periwinkle on the inside of its wings. It wouldn’t leave me alone when I sat down, It kept getting on my roller blades, on my back…on my hat, on my legs. it was so ethereal...just beautiful. I was laughing at how it just wouldn't’ leave me alone.

I actually asked a couple if the butterfly was on me before I got to my car to make sure that I didn’t move it out of its habitat. (It had jumped all over me that much, it almost felt like it was hiding sometimes but than it would pop up, like it was saying “haha!” or something, like now you see me, now you don’t kind of thing but it finally left and I went home.

I was in my house the same day and I turned around and felt like Pauline was much so that I said “Pauline?” out loud even when I was also saying out loud, she can’t be gone yet… no one has said she is, so I just went about my day but wondered about it.

I got the text message on Thursday saying she had died on Monday, the day I saw the butterfly that wouldn't leave me alone.  The night I had had that happy dream about her.

The day (Monday) Pauline and I  had decided on that being the day she could talk on the phone before she was so sick.

We hadn’t talked for a while, I hadn’t heard from her when I called...she had been so sick that she was sleeping all the time and I couldn’t catch her awake.

I just couldn’t believe I wouldn’t see her alive again, even though I felt it.

That’s the first thing that came tumbling out of my mouth

“I can’t believe I’ll never see her again”

I just sobbed in my husbands arms.

My husband Joe said “Heidi- remember that dream you had Monday that was so happy about Pauline?" And then I remembered... I think it was her way of coming back and telling me... she was ok.

The week I saw that butterfly (the official butterflies name is “little blue” by the way... I looked it up) I dyed my hair blue because of that.. I can just hear Pauline saying “ug, why all the fuss... Why would you do that for me? I would say Pauline I’m memorializing my hair for you. And if she were here, we would laugh. (I know I’m just weird.)

I also am working on a kids book. I have put the butterfly on the cover  of the book along with my main character. (They are friends :) ) And she is in at least 4 other books I am working on. If your church is ok with it I’ll give them to you in her name.

She would probably just roll her eyes if she knew I did this.

I just miss her. It’s a little bit like seeing she and that butterfly,working on those books... and every day when I see my hair it reminds me of her.

Everybody looks at me and thinks that this is just Seahawks hair but its really for her. Pauline, its for YOU. It’s really for you.

And you know Pauline when you said “well all this otherworldly stuff could all be in your head?” (some of the things I told you in my life…OMG)  You said “maybe your just crazy?”smiling Well maybe I’ll admit it’s true...but only to you, and only when we meet again.

Because I believe we will.

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Will They Ever Believe Us? Women In Crisis (Ford, Snopes, and proof that when you fact check- no nude pictures of her or grandpa in the CIA even exist-links here)

I know I haven’t written in a while (I feel like I am writing a letter to an old friend) I have had a couple of losses over the last two years (My cat of 22 years last year, and the woman who was like a mother to me in July.)  It has been a couple of heartbreaking years for me, and I have retreated somewhat, coping however I could. (I actually have a project in the works...that's another reason... I will post it when I'm done with it...I'm excited to share it with you!)
But I can’t stay silent right now.
This has been a hard week for many of we women who have been through abuse (and those that identify as such or otherwise) I am triggered all over again.
When Trump ended up in power, it felt like it was a slap in the face to every woman in this country. I was shocked and disgusted and triggered by this...I felt like I had been betrayed.
Those familiar feelings are all coming back and I have had numerous PTSD attacks all over again...I thought I had moved past this.
To have Kavanaugh speak to women the way he did (Not to mention like every abuser I’ve ever known throwing the question a woman is asking right back in a woman’s face who is a woman of power ...feeling like he was trying to discredit her to when he was the one on trial not her) He spoke with such contempt that he brought up a rage in me that I haven’t felt since Trump came into power. I have dealt with men like this too often in my life... I KNOW men like this, and I cannot stuff these feelings down. I don't know what to do with it.
I want to scream from the rooftops... does ANYONE hear the pleas of centuries of women put down by men in power???
I want them to HEAR us damn it!
I have been beaten, groped, attacked, and grabbed at so many times I can’t even count, and I came out of it.
How many more times do we have to rise up and say ENOUGH till things CHANGE?
WHEN are we women going to stop being re-victimized like this when there are men like this out there, and men right behind them actually PROTECTING them?

Have you noticed how this seems to always happen when there is a male abuser? (Lindsey Graham I am looking at you)

Woman, at the least, we need to stand together instead of attacking each other- I almost wonder if this is by design (men getting us to turn against each other) Damn right it is!
I saw an incredible show of solidarity at the Women’s march in Seattle- I will never forget it- I have seen what happens when women pull together. We need to push like HELL for change. Because from what I have seen right hasn’t. It’s just going to get worse if we don’t do something about this “good ol boy” mentality of the so called “leaders” of our country..
This week as I went about my shopping for food, I just sensed this unspoken rage in women around me.
From a woman at the cash register checking out my food- I just mentioned what a hard week it was with everything going on, and she erupted into “I can’t believe this Kavanaugh guy on the stand! He’s obviously guilty!  All the screaming and crying...if a woman acted like this they would say she was too emotional for the job! And if he did what he did…” I got into it with her and by the time I walked out of there my heart was racing and I was just hit by the unfairness of it all.
To a woman who is the greeter at a store “ I just can’t believe they don’t kick him out” (Kavanaugh)
Which got me to thinking of the guy that handed me a screw in high school and tried to get me to say “I want to screw” in front of a bunch of guys..., to the guy who handed me a fireman with a “fire hose” giving  it to me as a “gift’ in front of everyone in ceramics class, all the guys snickering away.
To the football player in high school in that same class who sat down, told me to look down at his pants (he had red leather pants on, I guess to impress people... weirdo) I was like “what???” and he was like, I’m getting hard” I had no idea what he was talking about until I asked around with my girl friends.  so I was like “I don’t see anything” not knowing what the hell he was talking about.
Which got me to thinking about the time A guy tried to stick a drumstick up my vagina (even though I had rolled up pants on in 90 degree weather…)
To the guy that was a friends brother spying on me when I was in the shower and another day when his mother asked him to drive me home, him driving me to the potato farms instead (With me hugging the door)  and telling me that he wouldn’t drive me home unless I made out with him, me refusing and jumping out the door before he could stop me...home was more than a few miles away but there was no way in hell he was going to get his way. (He apologized and ended up driving me home, but I hugged the door all the way.) I told my friend later,(it was her brother) she didn’t believe me. 
I never told his mother though. I should have. Strangely it didn’t even occur to me to until today. I don’t know why. 

Would she have believed me either? Did he try that with anyone else? 
Did any women get raped because of him...did he try to get their consent too? I’ll never know. 

If I wouldn't have gotten out of that truck the way I did, I could have been a another victim. I’ll never know.

I’m glad I’ll never know.
I was so parents hadn’t taught me anything about sex, and this was in a small mormon town where none of us were educated unless it was by our friends, and I had pretty naive friends too. (I hadn’t had that health class yet either that taught us about male and female anatomy..) .my best friend from high school still laughs at the memory when the word penis was written on the chalkboard.
I immediately said pen-is (like a pen- (you know...the thing you write with) haha

I could go on and on but I’ve said enough and I don’t want to bore you.

Are other women re-living the stories I am with all of this going on around me? I’m betting there are. Old stories that they buried, the same as I did? 
Are many of us being triggered with all this “good ol boy” mentality swirling around us?
Do any of us realize that this is what is happening? (That we are being re-triggered, over and over again..are we re-triggered because there has been no validation or  closure? No justice.) 
Anybody see the cartoon on Lady Justice? Triggering? HELL yes. It makes me want to cry just looking at it.
WHAT are we going to do about this. Nothing?
And all the while as I’m talking to women the old stories of what happened to me play in my head.
I think this is why women everywhere I’m going look the way they do lately. I think we can’t help it.
This shit is triggering.
Maybe I am putting too much into it...but maybe I’m not.
This SO resonated after I posted online the above… someone named Lee  had this posted online after reading words a writer had written (Rebecca Hains)  who had written about Kavanaugh and how it feels like they are “ramming through this man” comparing it to the rape of women... trying to appoint an obviously unstable man to the status of “Justice"...the LAST place he should be.
Lee: " Absolutely accurate. This is the way the men choke the life out of every attempt women make to gain a place of equality alongside the “boys”.
They just raise the ante. 
They yell, threaten, name call, claim they are the victims, and, most importantly, stick together.
Women too often do not stand together when the volume amps up.
Men know this. They count on it. Pray it doesn’t happen this time.
For those who might not know, This pattern of upping the ante to resist women's rights actually has a name and has been studied. It's called "the change back response." It's used by abusers of all kinds and genders when their victim begins self-advocacy and resistance.

It's featured prominently in a book called "The Dance of Anger," in case anyone wants to read it.and based on the principles in the book (and my personal experience as a child abuse survivor), it's virtually guaranteed they will keep using these methods until women repeatedly stick together and prevail.
The cycle gets more brutal each time, though, so be prepared. You can do it, you just have to mean it like you've never meant it before. NEVER back down or you're doomed."

EDIT: A woman who is a greeter at a store who talked to me about Kavanaugh the week before did a 180- she now thinks Ford is lying. She told me that a person she knows showed her 'evidence" of Ford naked at a party"  I went home, researched it...the picture she told me about - its on It is FALSE. If she would have just researched it she would know this. I saw those pictures and when I researched it, it was obvious that it wasn't her. People come on!

She also told me that her Grandfather was a CIA operative and that Ford herself taught someone how to use a polygraph and pass...ALSO discounted on Snopes.

This happens SO many times when women come forward. They try to discount the woman in any way possible. Women who are victims are never believed, and if its a high profile man they are accusing, watch out! I am so sad because the just the week before, if I am remembering our conversation right, this lady said something about how so many times women are challenged on every front and men are believed...

She also told me that two other men came forward saying that "they" were the ones who raped Ford, not Kavanaugh. This was put out by Newsweek (and Fox news) Newsweek being the company that was sold for one dollar "in exchange for absorbing Newsweek's considerable financial liabilities" neither one of them are credible news sources.  It hasn't come up in any other story but newsweek
(story here on Newsweek being bought for $1)

I just want us to rise up out of all of this madness. These last few years seems like a bad dream and I want to believe that things can change for the better, not the worst. Please help me to believe in us. 

Because I am terrified at the alternative.

Monday, July 16, 2018

The Bat (Within about a year there will be an announcement, stay tuned)

One  day I walked into the house after my walk in the morning and went "Whaaaaa?" 

Whats that black furry blob on my fireplace??? 

I looked up close (carefully...think RABIES!) and realized it was a bat hanging upside down on my chimney.

NO ONE would claim responsibility in the area to take care of it, (I spent HOURS on the phone trying to find someone in the area to take care of it, the whole time with the thing hanging off my fireplace) soooo I had to. 

I coincidentally had a box with fixins to make a gingerbread house on my kitchen table, so I took everything out of the box and went up to the fireplace, prayed "please God help me!" and put the plastic top over the bat. 

The bats wings shoot out the minute I did, one wing wrapping around the  side of the fireplace and it took some serious manuverning to get that wing back in under the plastic.

Then I took the plastic back, prayed again "PLEEEEEEEEEEEAASE don't let him fall out of the box when I lift it up!"
I shut the back...and squashed the poor things hiney. EEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE (All the while with it would you like to be woken up in the middle of a nap?:p) SQUEEKKKKKK SQEEEEEEK SQUEEEEEEK!-Talk about an unearthly sound!!!) still up against the fireplace trying to capture it and get it out of the house in a Costco gingerbread plastic box. 

All the while I'm screaming "I'm SORRY!" I'm SORRY!! (For squishing its tush:p)

I manuvuered it around and got the bottom off its tush and got a closer look under the box... 

I was surprised to was kinda cute, (lil furry thing with a pushed in nose like a lil pug, almost adorable even) in a Halloween freak you out movie kind of way.

 I let it loose on my deck , and instead of just flying off my deck, it used its lil bat arms to do this lil bat wiggle, going back and forth with what looked like to me like a  body out of a horror movie wiggling back and forth 

It went over the first step on my deck and landed, feet hanging over the edge in a perfect bat hanging pose,  poor thing, looking confused, like it should have been in a cave but was doing the next best thing. 

I RAN to get a camera to document that YES this actually happened and took some pictures. (Sadly enough, most of the pictures are BLURRY. Poor thing kept looking at me cause the camera kept flashing...

I could hear the poor thing like a banshee in my head screeching "LADY...WHAT THE "BLEEP" are you DOING? I'm trying to sleep here!!"

 I finally decided to leave the poor critter alone so it could get some rest, and came back later and it was gone. Later I realized that the pics I got were mostly blurry, but MAN the thing had a wingspan. (I got some pics of him doing the body shuffle)

I have some exciting news coming up...hopefully this year sometime that has to do with this lil guy, (can't go into too much right now yet stay tuned :) )

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Isadora Duncan, Death By Scarf And Me

I am an Isadora Duncan dancer all the way…I like dancing my way, all flowy and comfortable, in bare feet…kinda like this:
Well as least I’d like to imagine myself this way.
I have an over 70 year old friend who teases me about this.
She also teases me because I wear scarves.
Well one day I was wearing a scarf, walking down the sidewalk when a guy walked by with a backpack.
My scarf, having a mind of its own, attached itself to the guys backpack where I was yanked violently backwards as the guy kept walking down the street towards his destination.
He MUST have felt the backpack suddenly get heavy as I choked out a “hey! STOP!” He stopped and I got untangled.
My friend laughed when I told her this.
She said “You ARE just like Isadora Duncan! She started to get into a car and her scarf got caught on the spokes of a wheel.
It whipped around in a circle…and voila, death by scarf!”
I always imagine that when she got to heaven she was like “WTF? A SCARF??? REALLY?????
I guess I better be careful.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Don't Be A Dick

I am SO sick of some men treating women like they are a piece of meat for their inspection...(and before I get accused of being a man hater let me remind you that I am a woman who has been married to a guy for 27 years... :)) I walk down the street or store and guys look me up and down and even their comments make me want to mace them in the face for treating me that way...of course I don't but I am so weary and just plain exhausted being treated like this simply because I am a woman on this planet.

Men who do this need to grow up!

There are times men do it specifically for me to see in an obvious way and its just GROSS. It shows an unconscious privilege that some men have.

The other day one of my friends on Facebook  asked "what a person noticed about people when they meet them" (It is not the person’s fault who posted it that the person responded this way, but it was just so slimy and she just excused it- it eggs guys like this on) a guy responded and this is what ensued...and women excusing it is disgusting...( thank you my other friend for your response at the end. I appreciate it so much) I have written fucking blogs about this...
(Blogs at about 38,000 woo hoo)

The other day a woman told me online how much something I wrote helped her...this is why I write...this itself may end up a blog.
This guy’s comment about meeting people::
Dick: Nice rack , then eyes 👀 ! 😂😂😂
Friend 3: I don't think you're like that but, I wouldn't blame you if you are :-)
DICK: well I was joking , but what man don’t look at a nice rack !! 😂😂
Me: Dick I guess that means that a woman can compare men’s penises against others penises...
Me: It’s a small minded thing to do
Me: And gives men excuses to do horrible things
Me: It’s called get a brain in the right place
Me: Eye roll...Yes that’s the first thing I do when I meet a person... I guess the only people you meet are other women because I don’t think a man would appreciate them looking at “your rack”...Damn do you really go around looking at other men’s penises and saying “nice rack.”You might want to rethink that especially with all the well deserved sexual-harassment suits that are going around...Heaven forbid you get fired from your job for being an asshole...damn what women put up with...
DICK: It was a joke Heidi !
Me:  Mansplaining... that’s what men say when they say something disgusting to women or about women...It’s not funny and it just makes least most of them roll their eyes. It’s just gross man. And I’m a lady that’s been married 27 years so no I’m not a man hater I just hate it when men are pigs...You’re making men look bad and you don’t have to. I’m not a piece of meat. Would you like it if I said the first thing that I look for talking to a person is if they have a great penis?The good thing man is to look at and only if they have a great penis , a good body a good body and nice hair and they’re young anyone else we can just throw them away... you don’t need to talk to them don’t need them at all...don’t need them at all in fact... Oh don’t worry husband I’m not looking at those younger men and their penises are you it’s not everyone but you...My husband just stated that last point... now he’s a decent guy
DICK: Heidi Sebastion 👍
Friend: Heidi , I went to High School with DICK. Trust me he's totally not that way he was being funny :-)
Me: I hear you...but that kind of talk turns women into objects and it’s not funny...
DICK: Heidi Sebastion I apologize !
Me: A guy who is very big on stopping this kind of talk (Jackson Katz - if every guy would be like this guy There wouldn’t be a problem anymore) anyway he talks about if men would stop each other instead of rationalize that men would be stopped as bad treatment would stop... I appreciate what you said John 🙂 thanks from women everywhere... 🙂 (I didn't see his comment up above making excuses for it so its an empty so called "sorry" men making excuses for men is pathetic.)
Friend 3: I see the full moon is working its be Vernis on all of us :-)
Me: I would say this to any guy treating women like this
Me: And as a woman it’s worse if women defend it... they make other women victims of men. I’m really disappointed (friends name) that you’re doing that and making excuses for him. That is how this shit keeps going. when men stay silent or egg them on and women excuse it laugh about it (because thats what we are taught to do as women or say "thats ok"
Friend 2: Heidi does have a point.

Me: From my blog thats over 38,000 hits- men like you are the reason I write blogs like this, to help women stand up for themselves. A woman told me the other day that she read my blog and it helped her stand up for herself. I'm damn proud that its helping women to stand up for themselves instead of staying silent.
DICK: Heidi Sebastion what exactly do you mean by stand up for themselves ?!?!
Me: If you don't understand that comment you’re more clueless and need more help than anyone can give. Not talking to your sorry pathetic perverted disgusting self anymore. BYE! And I think it’s hilarious that you feel you have to tag me to try to get my attention just to be an even bigger dick.

DICK: Heidi Sebastion 👍
Friend: Women are always sexualized by men. Most jobs I've ever had throughout my life I had to quit because of sexual harassment. Even now some creepy male customers make my job very uncomfortable because they come on to me. I've had to tell them to leave me alone. I just want to do my job without being bothered.

Me: I totally hear you! And if men would police other men instead of egging them on and acting like "oh you are such a stud for doing it" not to mention women being taught to put up with it and even excuse it and be 'oh hahah thats funny (when really in reality what woman is really thinking that? ) this bullshit would stop.

Friend 6: I'm non binary but I'm read as male by everyone now. So I do my best to police other men and tell them to stop. It's disgusting how men talk about women when they think there aren't any around.

Friend 3 Good morning :-) Heidi, I agree wholeheartedly with the majority of how you feel on the subject. I wasn't meaning to condone DICK'Scomment. I do not know him very well but, even in high school he has always been known for being somewhat shy loves to get out and play pool he works hard and he definitely was a mama's boy. I used to work with his dad at the Navy base years ago and he's passed on several years ago but October 26th John's mother died and it was devastating to him. His comment about the rack I must say came out of left field from him. I was more surprised that he even left a comment on my wall for the first time in a long time. Anyway, I've got to get back over to your blog and catch up with things. I hope you and I are okay?

ME: We are, just made me sad that you coddled the guy about it...I know people don't want to start waves but acting like its ok just fuels the flames with guys...Even sadly with his mother dying its even worse that he would spout that crap about women. I just won't put up with that. ...I would have said what I did to anyone who spouted that shit... Its triggering- I'm sure not just for me... which is why I don't stay quiet...I feel like I'm speaking for those who are afraid to.

Friend 3: I like that you stood up for your values. Always welcome on my wall :-)

Me:I like to think I stand up for all women where some think they can't...

Friend 4:Way past due for us to treat each other as beings and not genders and stereotypes.

   Me: YES!

Friend 1: Some years ago, I was passing an office that was being remodeled. I was with two other women. It was lunch time and the workers were all sitting in a huge glassed in area. As we passed a worker held up three signs, 10-9- and 8. We walked on around the corner and there was a woman police officer. So I told her, when we walked back to our office she was in with the workers shaking her finger at the rater. So seldom does opportunity present itself so quickly.

Me: Good for you guys and that police officer...I hope she gave him HELL!

And just for fun: Damn this song is stuck in my head now...might have to look it up on ITunes...

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Taking A Knee In Seattle (One Woman's Reaction(Not Mine) And The Real Reason Colin Kaepernick Kneels For The National Anthem (Its not what you think)

In Seattle we have what we call “Blue Friday.”

We all dress up in our seahawks gear. (Well maybe not all of us, but a lot of us.) We love our Seahawks football team and we wear that blue and green with pride. I have a jersey that I won because I bet someone online (I said that anyone who dared to bet me that I would buy them a jersey if their team won, and they would buy me my Seahawks Jersey if they won the Superbowl. That ended up pretty hilarious (And Damien was a good sport...and made me laugh so hard...we really got going there :P) That blog is here:

Well yesterday I was at the store, and as usual someone said “go hawks!” So I talked about how when my husband and I were eating at a place, there were a million screaming Seahawks fans.

That’s when a woman checking out at the register said

“I’m so sick of that!”

“Sick of what?” I said.

She said “that take a knee crap. I’m so sick of it!!”

I said “This country has a HUGE problem with racism. I’m PROUD of my seahawks for kneeling. It’s a racist anthem written by a racist man. I have NO idea what it is like to deal with racism. I don’t understand racism. I never will.”

“We white women are standing here and we have NO clue what it is like to deal with racism.”

She said “It’s the wrong venue to do that. They need to stop.”

I said “ and yet look what it’s done. Finally people are talking about it. YOU are talking about it.”

That completely shut her up.

And if you want to know Colin' real reason for kneeling, here it is:

(Thank you Zann for this) 

Aug 14, 2016- Colin Kaepernick sits for the national anthem.....and no one noticed 
Aug 20th, 2016- Colin again sits, and again, no one noticed. 
Aug 26th, 2016- Colin sits and this time he is met with a level of vitriol unseen against an athlete.  
Even the future President of the United States took shots at him while on the campaign trail.  
Colin went on to explain his protest had NOTHING to do with the military, but he felt it hard to stand for a flag that didn't treat people of color fairly. 
Then on on Aug 30th, 2016 Nate Boyer, a former Army Green Beret turned NFL long snapper, penned an open letter to Colin in the Army Times. In it he expressed how Colin's sitting affected him. 
Then a strange thing happened. 
Colin was able to do what most Americans to date have not... 
He listened. 
In his letter Mr. Boyer writes: "I’m not judging you for standing up for what you believe in. It’s your inalienable right. What you are doing takes a lot of courage, and I’d be lying if I said I knew what it was like to walk around in your shoes. I’ve never had to deal with prejudice because of the color of my skin, and for me to say I can relate to what you’ve gone through is as ignorant as someone who’s never been in a combat zone telling me they understand what it’s like to go to war. Even though my initial reaction to your protest was one of anger, I’m trying to listen to what you’re saying and why you’re doing it." Mr. Boyer goes on to write, "There are already plenty people fighting fire with fire, and it’s just not helping anyone or anything. So I’m just going to keep listening, with an open mind.I look forward to the day you're inspired to once again stand during our national anthem. I'll be standing right there next to you."Empathy and understanding was shown by Mr. Boyer.........and Mr. Kaepernick reciprocated.  
Colin invited Nate to San Diego where the two had a 90 minute discussion and Nate proposed Colin kneel instead of sit. But why kneel? In a military funeral, after the flag is taken off the casket of the fallen military member, it is smartly folded 13 times and then presented to the parents, spouse or child of the fallen member by a fellow service member while KNEELING.  
The two decided that kneeling for the flag would symbolize his reverence for those that paid the ultimate sacrifice while still allowing Colin to peacefully protest the injustices he saw. Empathy, not zealotry under the guise of patriotism, is the only way meaningful discussion can be had.  
Mr. Kaepernick listened to all of you that say he disrespects the military and extended an olive branch to find a peace. 
When will America listen to him?

And a VERY good interview below with Nate Boyer (I recommend watching the whole thing (And he plays for the SEAHAWKS.. BONUS!)