The last two years have been jumbled up in my head like a jigsaw puzzle that just hasn’t fit together, or maybe…. some pieces are missing. I want SO desperately to find them…
People telling on me to the Bishop about my feminist posts on Facebook, the spying on me on Facebook, the spying on me on my blog, the gossip at church just took all my faith in humanity.
And then I found out it’s all a lie. I realized that there’s more to me than being a mother, that I was never completely fulfilled and I knew it even when when I was pregnant. I knew it in my bones. I love my kids (or in my case kid) but there’s more to me than that...more than having or wanting people to take care of you your whole life as if you are this fragile little thing who has no right to have dreams, or passions or figuring out What the hell I wanted to be .
Hell even nations do this same we're the best crap... We are ALL the "BEST" nation, no matter where we come from.
Your welcome. Haha.
My radar went up again. WHERE is the humanity? I thought. I cried watching so many suffer and for those like the mother who couldn’t find her son who was on TV like a rerun over and over begging “WHERE IS MY SON?? I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE IS!”
And then it came out that he had frequented the club, that he had a profile on a gay site.
Somebody made a difference in my daughter's life who was terrified that she wouldn’t get home that day.
Would they have even helped her at all? Would they have been just another mormon bigot with an agenda? Or would they try to help her thinking maybe they could find some way to convert her back? (that's not happening!)
Damn it...I have become so cynical because of my experience with Mormons. (sigh)
“In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery and death”