BAD SANTA!!!
I am awake because I had a horrible, triggering experience today. But it's weirdly funny. The more I think about it, the funnier it is.
I went to visit Santa at the mall that I sang 4 songs with a day ago…it wasn’t very busy and we sang together.
I got pictures taken.
We were singing and we were talking. It was seriously FUN!
This time it was earlier in the day and of course people were coming up with their kids, so I got out of the way but because I was waiting to get my pictures I stayed there and talked with the people.
Because I always stick "Bart The Bat" brochures (I am a children's book author who wants to tell people about how good bats are- they pollinate cacao (chocolate- look it up on google, its really true.) in my purse I was telling them about meeting a bat, giving them brochures etc...I just wasn't thinking about it....
Well next thing I know the mall cop comes up, starts saying I need to leave and I said "I need my pictures" He said you didn't pay for them." I was mortified- the college kid who awas at the booth never asked for it and I spaced out…I said "Here's my card" I'm happy to pay and I told him a thing or two and he said "I don't give a fuck, you need to leave."
I was SO angry because he was really being a jerk. I said "I am getting my pictures. You are being incredibly rude. Don't talk to me that way, especially as an employee of the mall."
I also told him I had a $25 Victoria's Secret Card. He's like I'll walk you there, get what you want but then you have to leave."
Anyway, I got my stuff, no one else was there so I sang the song with Santa that I was going to sing, (I heard The Bells On Christmas day (I was going to record it for me Facebook page and the college kid had my phone but of course now she handed it back seeing it was getting weird. ) I didn’t mean to but I sang “ backwards) “The right shall fail, the wrong prevail” I was so turned around. OMG. WHOOPS.
Then got my pics after having her take one more pic as she did a seriously crappy job.
Then the security guard and I went to V.S. I talked to him for a while, I was so rattled and shaking that I was having trouble remembering where my car was...
He said he would help me find my car and I said "Ok- maybe if you do that I won't think you're a total asshole." Then he kind of smiled. ( I remembered where it was a few minutes later) He apologized for swearing. (I told him the F word was my go to word when I was angry, and he said that was his go to...)
I talked to him as he was walking me to my car...he is African American, and I asked him if he was mormon (as so many people here are. I have great neighbors, 3 around me that I know of and we all help each other when on vacation and get packages for each other and mail. They are quite nice.) He said no and I said "Thank God, you're smart! HAHA...I also told him (this is in the newspapers from long ago, and a long buried fact but when African Americans were given the priesthood in the mormon church the REAL reason that happened was because about 500 relatives of African Americans actually threatened to sue the mormon church if they didn't give them the priesthood- so guess what? Suddenly God and "the prophet" had a "Revelation." suddenly it happened and they got the priesthood.) Anyway, we kept talking. I asked him "are we good?"
He said yes and we both went on our way.
That was BAD. I I am still awake and rattled. I found out from him that Santa actually called him on me. One of my friends said does that make me on Santa's naughty list? OMG but WHOAH. I won't bring my brochures again…
I just was bored because that 17 year old employee who didn’t ask for my card kept ushering people in front of me- which I understand but I just forgot to give her my card. And I always talk about bats because of the one that ended up in my house (I helped him out of my house too because no one would help me!)
Again...bats pollinate cacao- chocolate- a lot of people don’t know that…(look it up on google…its an actual thing) They also pollinate pineapple, and coffee beans, and pretty much every fruit. They are IMPORTANT.
Anyway, I have over 1300 people on my Facebook page- really SANTA, I don’t need to advertise…
Ok the next day I went back…I must be an idiot.
I originally wanted to go to say I was sorry for soliciting and sing with Santa- I even printed out "I Heard The Bells On Christmas day" in bigger font because "Santa" said he couldn't see smaller font, so I printed one bigger. The guy is a great singer- (I was in a band years back writing and singing and we got invited as one of 3 bands to be in :”Battle of The Bands when I lived there- I sang like 4 songs with him just because he did.) I had thought he was a nice guy.
(Though that first day they were taking forever and even having little kids cutting in front of me to get pics even though I was there the first time I went there- it was annoying, but I did it, even helped. (I thought) Later when the security guy came up he said something about paying- she hadn't asked me for my card though stupidly I spaced out and didnt give it to her at the beginning. My fault. Ug...a glutton for punishment obviously I went back and sang.
When I was there for such a long time (I also was having fun watching Santa and the kids but I did sing a bit. Santa is really good with the kids,,,I noticed that some of the little kids who were terrified of Santa would get scared-(I know my daughter sure did)- one girl at their place had just seen "A Christmas Story" and her mother said and was terrified of Santa because of the Santa fromthat movie...I can still hear that Santa in my head. "Ho ho ho!"
So I knew the mall Santa sang and told the girl that had just seen 'A Christmas Story with the scary Santa to tell him her favorite Christmas song...she did and they sang together.... It was really cute.
I told other kids that he sang and sang with them off by the booth (not where they were. Maybe that annoyed Santa. I don't know.)
Not long after Santa actually called security on me (He had no idea I helped that little girl to not be terrified of him.)
This time I waited in line to sit with Santa and take another picture and pay $50 for it...like I said, I even printed out a bigger caps version of the song I wanted to sing with him. ( I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day is so powerful... that's the one I wanted to sing. Still sad about that) I made sure the second time that no brochures were in my purse too) he said he had trouble seeing the words to a Christmas song on my phone last time we sang together(we sang 4 songs together last time. )
THE ONLY REASON I STAYED LONGER IS BECAUSE THEY KEPT HAVING PEOPLE CUT IN FRONT OF ME. I was patient, but on another note because they did that I was astonished that they kept doing that. (though I get it, they had to hurry people through.)
Again, with all of that going on, again- stupidly, I forgot to pay.
The security guard reminded me of that when he came over and I was mortified. Of course I paid then.
This 2nd time around, I waited in line, and I even let a little girl in front of me. We all had to wait as he was on break. He shook all our hands ( mine last) and then sat in his perch.
That's when I saw the security guard and they asked me to leave again! They said that I could go anywhere else in the mall, just not there near Santa. SO weird. Banished.
OMG I have been rejected by Santa. I think he called the security guards on me again.
OK I’ve heard the phrase “sometimes you will be too much for some people." But I’ve never heard the phrase “but they may call security.” Looking at this picture actually makes me laugh because .
Later I printed this out and brought it to the Mall Manager and he said he was sorry that any of this happened to me.
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