I AM A SURVIVOR. I could have been one of the numberless child abuse victims that have been seen in the obituaries.I could have given in to the darkness that surrounded me at every turn. I could have taken my own life. (As I've said in a song I wrote called "If" "Should I let my father kill me, or should I do it myself?") The human spirit, no matter how much darkness there is, sometimes finds the tiniest bit of light in the darkest of places. I am Unbreakable.
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
The Haunted Standrod House: Don't Go There. (I Did)
Video we took of the Standrod house years back...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eK-AWk1Y40
Since I have been a child I have known to have "feelings" about places. Now, this could all be in my head, but I have learned to follow promptings and feelings.
Years back I had a feeling not to go with a friend somewhere, and three hours later I got a call telling me my friend had been in an accident. A big grain truck had hit the passenger side.
I was grateful I listened to that feeling. I don't know if I would be here if I hadn't listened.
I have learned to listen to any feelings I have about things like this, CLOSELY.
There are things I won't even go into here, where I have known I am protected because of what I have seen in my life.
I have to wonder if my near death experience opened up something to me in some way, I don't know...but life, and death are a funny thing. Nobody comes back once on the other side.(well, usually ;p)
Guess I'll just take a wait n see approach. ;p
Which brings me to this...
The Standrod house...
When I went there I have a feeling something bad happened here…how a house feels depending on who lived in it many times stays.
That has been my impression.
The house I grew up in has that same feeling.
I am hyper sensitive to people and especially places where bad things have happened.
I think its because of the home I grew up in. The feeling of being in a place where "everything is not right" is familiar to me, as for the first 16 years of my life I was in an incredibly abusive home and almost died.
Its just natural that I feel the vibe when I am in a home where things have gone wrong.
Years back, before we got married my soon to be husband and I were looking for a place to have our reception before we got married, and we checked out a place called the Standrod House.
The minute I walked into that place I felt something very, VERY wrong there.
They had a picture of the old family there and I could not help but gravitate towards it.
I took a long hard look at it, and saw a teenage girl and the father of the family, those were the two that really struck me for some reason, and I actually felt physically sick.
I told Joe "There's a really bad feeling in that place."
There is NO WAY the reception would be there.
I had such a horrible feeling that something really REALLY bad had happened there.
He said "Heidi, I can't tell you here, but I'll tell you after we're out of here" so I had the tour of the house, but I had this sickening feeling all through the house. I just wanted to get out of there.
When we left, Joe (Who had lived in Pocatello for years before I did) said "Heidi, the teenage girl you were looking at was going out with a boy that her father didn't approve of. That boy disappeared and they never found him. The girl went up to her room, wouldn't leave and got very sick over time. She died."
The feeling in that house is VERY familiar to me. I think because those feelings tell me she dealt with abuse, and I dealt with abuse- ( so much so that I almost didn’t make it out of my fathers house alive.) The feeling in that house is familiar to me. And not in a good way. But I KNOW the feeling of an abusive house as a child, and it felt the same. I think she was beaten, or who knows what else. I tend to trust my gut, especially when I get that same feeling that I had when I lived in that awful house in my youth.
I actually had a prayer with Joe for that girl, that she was at peace. I felt so sad for her and kept crying. I couldn’t explain it to my fiance but I think he understood.
Years later we went back to Pocatello and happened to go past the neighborhood and we went there... again. The doors were locked, but when we went up on the wrap around porch the wind picked up suddenly and whipped through my hair…it set the chimes off on the porch…it was just CREEPY.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do but hope that whoever lived in a house like that is at peace.
I hope she is.
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